For Children of Foster Carers’ Week, we spoke to foster carer Rocky whose experience of fostering began long before she welcomed children into her own home.
I was three years old when my mum and dad started fostering, so it's really all I've ever known.
I have an older brother and sister, and both my parents come from large families, so I was used to a busy household. Foster children simply became part of family life, and I always had someone to play with. Over time, our family grew from three children to seven, as my parents adopted two younger sisters and welcomed a brother and sister who were meant to stay for five weeks but ended up living with us for 16 years.
As I got older, some of the children and young people we cared for shared difficult experiences with me. While those stories could be hard to hear, they helped me understand emotions, behaviour and the importance of empathy. Being closer in age to some of the young people also meant they sometimes found it easier to talk to me, helping them open up and access the support they needed.
The hardest part of growing up in a fostering family was saying goodbye when children moved on, whether that was returning home or being adopted. But some relationships lasted long after placements ended. One of the first children we fostered stayed with us for around three years before moving to an adoptive family. We remained close, and years later she was a bridesmaid alongside my sister.
I've now been fostering for 16 years myself.
Growing up in a fostering family gave me a realistic understanding of what fostering involves. It taught me that when times are tough, it's important to take things one step at a time, be honest with children and build trust through listening without judgement.
There's nothing quite like seeing a child work through challenges and become happier, safer and more confident. Knowing you've played even a small part in that journey is incredibly rewarding.
As a single foster carer, I know how important support networks are. I'm fortunate to have my parents living next door and my siblings nearby, as well as strong friendships through local foster carer support groups. Having people who understand the realities of fostering can make all the difference.
Today, I'm also helping my four-year-old son navigate life in a fostering family. I include him in small decisions, encourage him to talk about his feelings and use books about fostering to help him understand what's happening around him.
What makes me most proud is how adaptable he is. He takes in his stride the children, young people and professionals who regularly come through our home. He's sociable, enjoys sharing and has built a strong bond with a young person who has lived with us for almost 15 years.
I also make sure we have quality one-to-one time together, something I know is important from my own experience growing up in a fostering family.
Fostering can be challenging and unpredictable, but the rewards are immeasurable. Seeing children and young people grow, achieve and feel secure makes it all worthwhile.
