This Foster Care Fortnight, we’re sharing stories from across the fostering community to raise awareness, highlight the skills and dedication it takes to be a foster carer, and celebrate the many different forms a family can take.
Paul is a single foster carer from Bromsgrove who was inspired to start fostering after leaving the Army three years ago. He has now been fostering for a year and a half and is an active member of the fostering community, running walking groups for men – including parents and foster carers – to get together and open up about their experiences.
Like many people leaving the Army, Paul faced a big question: What do I do next? After serving for over 30 years, he made the decision to retire at the age of 55. Active and always on the go, Paul knew he needed to find purpose in his next chapter. Following a brief period working as a lorry driver, he became a youth worker, working with young people who have been excluded from school and from there found himself naturally drawn towards foster care.
“I used to drive lorries part time and I enjoyed it, but it just wasn’t very rewarding. So I thought there must be something else I could do with my time. Somebody mentioned foster care to me, but I didn’t think I could do it as a single person. I realised all you need is a spare room - I definitely think that’s something that needs to be advertised more.”
Paul initially planned to offer short breaks, but he is now caring for a 10-year-old boy on a long-term basis. He says becoming a foster parent has brought as many benefits to his own life as it has to the child he looks after. Together they enjoy getting outside, riding bikes, swimming, and generally staying active. Paul adds that he appreciates both the challenges and the rewards that come with caring for older children.
“There are lots of babies that need caring for and everyone wants the babies. But my forte are the children than might be considered a bit more challenging, the ones that are left behind. I know I can make a difference as I understand the teenagers and the youth.”
Having gained so much from fostering, Paul now makes it a personal mission to encourage other single men to consider it- particularly those retiring from the Army - and to help break down common myths that you must be married or own a home to foster.
He is also actively involved in the fostering community, taking part in a men’s foster carer group and recently launching a men’s walking group to support fathers and fellow foster carers and boost men’s mental health.
The group, called Sole Mates, welcomes all men and encourages them to meet each month for a walk and a conversation. It offers a chance to talk about anything - from everyday life to specific parenting or fostering challenges - and to learn from one another.
Paul said: “Women are often quite good at chatting to each other, but men need some extra encouragement. Sometimes men, aside from going down the pub or going to a football match, they might not get the opportunity to really talk about each other.
“And there’s something about being outside an walking that makes it easier to chat that being just sat down with each other. It’s not a therapy session, but an opportunity to share experiences, things we’re going through, which people can hopefully relate to.”
Paul acknowledges the stress that foster carers can experience and encourages others like him to seek out any local groups and connect.
“I’ve learned so much from attending small foster carer groups – whether you’re male or female. If you’re struggling reach out, you’re not alone and a chat might help.”
Paul truly embodies the This is Fostering theme. He shows that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to fostering. He brings together his Army-built resilience, his skills, and his passion for supporting young people to play an integral role in the fostering community.
