Growing up in a fostering family shaped Lydia Bright’s outlook on life, love and motherhood. Here, she talks about empathy, independence and why she wouldn’t change a thing.
Best known for her years on The Only Way Is Essex, Lydia Bright has built a career that spans television, business and family life. But long before fame, she was growing up in East London in a bustling household where fostering was simply part of everyday life.
Her parents, Debbie and Dave, began fostering when Lydia was just a few months old. “They thought it would be temporary,” she says. “But my mum just fell in love with it. She’s always had bundles of energy and just takes each day as it comes – she’s the perfect candidate.”
For Lydia, fostering wasn’t something unusual or even remarkable - it was simply life. “I didn’t know any different,” she says. “I always grew up with a really big family, with children that were changing. For me, that was my normal.”
Growing up in that environment gave her an unusually broad view of the world. “I always say that there were so many more positives that came out of my childhood being part of a foster family. I mixed with people from every background, every culture, every class. I never lived in a bubble. It taught me a lot about never passing judgment on people’s circumstances – it definitely made me a more rounded person.”
She remembers the reaction she sometimes got when she told people her mum was a foster carer. “So many times, people would say, ‘I don’t get how someone could give up their child.’ It’s such a narrow view. No one wakes up and decides to be a heroin addict – or to be homeless. When you’re part of a foster family, you don’t see people as bad; you see them as victims of their circumstances.”
Growing up as a child of foster carers
That perspective didn’t mean every day was easy. Lydia admits that as a child she sometimes found it hard to share her mum’s attention. “The kids I clashed with most were usually the ones who needed her the most. They were the ones acting out, struggling at school. I’d see the stress it caused and just want them to behave. But it was so normal to me that I just accepted that if there was a kid playing up, Mum would have to give them more attention.”
She pauses, smiling. “Some people would look at that and say, ‘Oh, that must have been hard, fighting for attention.’ And yeah, maybe it was at times. But I think you have to see the positive in everything. I was independent from such a young age. If Mum was busy, you just got on with things yourself. You learned to step up.”
By her early twenties, Lydia’s self-sufficiency had already shaped her career. “I moved out when I was 20 and had my first business at 21. I don’t think I’d have been that independent if I hadn’t grown up in that kind of household. All my mum’s kids are very, very driven, and I think that’s part of being from a foster family.”
Lydia has three biological siblings and two her parents gained special guardianship of. “One of the best things about growing up in a fostering family is just having so many siblings,” she says. “There’s such a big network of us. I never really had to rely on friends too much – you never have to worry about feeling lonely.”
Carrying fostering experience into adulthood
That’s not to say there weren’t challenges. “I’m sure anyone from a big family will say the same – sometimes there’s no peace and it can be a lot,” Lydia laughs. “But I was lucky I had such a close relationship with my grandparents. If ever I needed a bit of respite, my Nan would pick me up for the weekend. She’d make me breakfast in bed, we’d sit on the sofa and chill – she just doted on me”.
It’s something she’s carried into adulthood. “Even now, I think that’s so important for foster families,” she says. “My mum’s still fostering three siblings, and every Friday they take it in turns to have a sleepover at mine. We have a takeaway, watch a film, and I spoil them a bit. I think it’s so important, not only for your own biological children, but also for fostered children – for them to be able to have some one-on-one time - their own little bit of peace”.
Growing up, the house was a revolving door of personalities - each child bringing their own story, sometimes staying for a few nights, sometimes for years. “You’d get some kids who came in and they were just such introverts, and then others who were literally like tornados. But then you’d see them become more settled and you could just sort of see the heaviness lift, and a happy child emerge.”
Saying goodbye was part of life. “When you’re little, you’re resilient,” Lydia says. “I don’t remember being distraught when a child moved on – we could probably unpack it in therapy,” she laughs, “but at the time, I don’t ever remember being devastated. Mum would say, ‘They’re going on to their forever family,’ and because there’s always such a shortage of foster carers in Hackney, I knew another child would be coming soon. There was always excitement about that too.”
Saying goodbye
But as she got older and more maternal, the goodbyes started to hit harder - especially when her mum began fostering babies. “If we’d had a baby from three days old to a year, that would really get me. I’d cry for weeks after they left. You’ve seen all the milestones – first smile, first steps – and then they’re gone.”
When Lydia had her daughter, Loretta, in 2020, everything clicked into place. “I became quite maternal in my mid-twenties,” she says. “I’d always wanted a big family, and I think I was so used to having these babies and then having to give them back that I found it really hard. When I had my daughter, I remember thinking, ‘Oh my goodness, she’s mine. I never have to give her up. She’s with me forever and she’s all mine.’”
That bond is intense. “I’m very attachment-focused – Loretta still sleeps with me!” she laughs. “I just love being close to her. But growing up in a fostering family made me such a calm, confident mum. I’d done it all before. I didn’t find it a shock – I flourished.”
Her biggest wish is that Loretta grows up surrounded by the same sense of togetherness she had. “My biggest fear is not having more children because I so want Loretta to have what I had – a big, loving family, always someone to play with, always someone to turn to.”
That deep pride in her family runs through everything she says. “I absolutely love telling people that I’m part of a foster family. I’m so proud of my parents and what they’ve done in life. Having that sort of different, impactful childhood is something I really feel proud about.”
These days, that pride has become purpose. Lydia uses her platform to shine a light on fostering and to speak up for children in care. “Children leave care at 18 – sometimes even earlier – and the support just disappears,” she says. “We wouldn’t expect our own kids to live independently at that age, so why do we expect it of care leavers? It’s where we’re really failing them.”
She’s a passionate supporter of the Staying Put scheme, which allows young people to remain with foster carers until they’re 21. “We need more of that,” she says firmly. “Supportive lodgings just aren’t enough. There’s not enough help with budgeting, life skills, emotional support. You can’t just put a group of teenagers in a house with minimal support and expect them to cope on their own — a lot of them are dealing with feelings of abandonment, rejection, and past trauma. Of course there are going to be issues with drugs, alcohol, even grooming gangs.
“If the government invested properly in that age group, they’d save so much later on - you’ve only got to look at the prison system and how many young offenders have been through care.”
That passion for change comes from a lifetime of seeing what good care can do. Her mum, Debbie, continues to foster and now provides respite for around 15 carers in her borough. Lydia beams. “We joke she’ll still be fostering when she’s 80. But honestly, I think it keeps her young. She’s got this amazing community of carers around her – it’s her whole life.”
As Loretta grows up surrounded by that same spirit of care, Lydia sees the family’s fostering legacy continuing. She smiles. “It taught me everything about life. It made me independent, empathetic, driven – and proud. Growing up in a fostering family didn’t just shape me,” she says. “It made me who I am.”
