On their third date, Ashleigh told her now-husband, John, that one day she hoped to become a foster carer. It was a casual conversation, one of those early talks that hint at a shared future, but neither of them could have predicted just how their path to fostering would unfold.
Ashleigh, a pediatric disability nurse, had always been drawn to working with children who had complex medical needs. But it was her bond with Marcus - a little boy she met when he was just two years old - that would ultimately change everything.
Ashleigh first met Marcus when he was two years old. She was working as a nurse at a children’s hospice, where Marcus, who has complex medical needs, was receiving respite care as a day guest. Having spent his entire life in hospital, as his parents couldn’t meet his needs at home, the hospice provided him with a much-needed break from the ward. But when the coronavirus pandemic hit, everything changed.
Marcus’ condition deteriorated rapidly when he was quarantined in a side room of the hospital. The isolation left him without the human interaction he desperately needed, causing him to regress emotionally and physically. When Ashleigh heard about Marcus' situation, she felt an overwhelming urge to help.
“Staff were doing their best to keep him safe, but it was at the cost of his wellbeing,” Ashleigh explains. “We knew we had to step in. We contacted his social work team and offered to do respite care for him. At first, we just wanted to spend every other weekend with him, taking him out for walks and giving him some much-needed company.”
Ashleigh and John’s offer was quickly approved, and soon the couple began visiting Marcus twice a month. Each visit deepened their connection, and before long, they realised that these brief, bi-monthly meet-ups weren’t enough. When the hospital team asked if they would consider caring for Marcus at their home, Ashleigh and John didn’t hesitate. Since then, Marcus has been a constant presence in their home.
“It’s been a rollercoaster of a few years, but we wouldn’t have it any other way,” Ashleigh reflects. “Our house and our family revolve around him. His smile melts everyone who meets him.”
Providing round-the-clock care for Marcus - who requires constant attention due to his medical needs - has not been easy. Marcus is fed through a tube, requires daily physiotherapy, and has seizures that are currently controlled by medication. He also relies on a ventilator to sleep at night and, despite being able to communicate through eye contact and facial expressions, he cannot walk or sit without assistance. Yet, for Ashleigh and John, none of these challenges deterred them.
“Due to my background in disability nursing, I always wanted to foster children with medical needs and disabilities,” Ashleigh says. “We’re both aware of how many children need a home and wanted this to be part of how we formed our family.”
Despite their challenges, the family has made precious memories along the way. In April 2023, Ashleigh and John welcomed a baby boy, Arthur, into the world. Watching Arthur and Marcus build a bond has been one of the greatest joys of the couple’s fostering journey, with Arthur already helping his brother with the equipment needed for his care.
The family has also enjoyed unforgettable experiences, including a holiday to Lapland in December 2022, facilitated by the NI Children to Lapland Trust. For Marcus, this was no ordinary trip.
“The fact that he was able to get on an aeroplane and experience the magic of Lapland was incredible,” says Ashleigh. “He was smiling all day at the elves and he particularly enjoyed the husky ride as the wind and snow were blowing in his face. He loves being cold and being outside, so he was in his element!”
As Ashleigh and John look to the future, they know it won’t be easy. Marcus' condition is unpredictable, and there are no guarantees. But their commitment to him is unwavering.
“As long as he’s fighting, we’ll be his voice and fight for him,” Ashleigh says firmly.
