Fiona: my experience of being a foster carer
Fiona has been fostering for over six years now, after originally seeing an advert on television years before she decided to seriously consider the role. Fiona speaks about her experiences of fostering and how the support she receives helps her to be the best foster carer she can be.
During her fostering journey, Fiona (pictured below with her grandaughter) has looked after a number of children and young people, many who have had challenges with their mental health. Fiona has found that with the help of those around her and her fostering service, ISP Fostering, she can be the support network missing from a young person’s life.
Initially, Fiona had looked into fostering with her partner at the time, having found information about her fostering service online. When her relationship broke down, she feared she would be unable to continue with the process and that her application would not be accepted.
Fiona explains: 'We started the process and during the background checks, I realised the relationship wasn’t working. I phoned up the assessor in floods of tears because I thought they weren’t going to accept me on my own. They were fantastic though, they told me to take some time after the break-up and that we could move forward once I had sorted everything out. It was the best thing I ever did.'
Fiona decided to move forward with her fostering application and did so as a single foster carer, something she now knows isn’t a barrier. She recognises there are aspects of being a foster carer that aren’t easy, but knows communication and honesty make the relationship work.
As a foster carer who supports young people who struggle with their mental health, not only is communication important for their personal relationships, but also to support the children to open up and express how they are feeling. This is something that ISP has provided training on and helped Fiona to help the children in her care. She elaborates: 'We have mental health training to equip us for looking after the young people that come to live with us, but putting this advice into practice is when you really learn. You have to encourage them to open up and help them feel they’re in an environment where it’s safe to do that. It’s about building trust and helping them to feel that they are important. Everything you go through is a lesson learned, whether it’s good or bad.'
Speaking of her relationship with the young people she looks after, Fiona says: 'I try to make a lot of things light-hearted. I am strict but fair - no raised voices, just us talking adult to young adult. I encourage lots of discussions around our thoughts and feelings, mine and theirs, so that they know they can be honest with me and I’ll support them.'
Both Fiona and her fostering agency ISP acknowledge the impact fostering can have on someone’s mental health, with regular training offered to support foster carers. This is something Fiona credits with helping her through her foster care journey.
Fiona explained: 'With each section of training you do, you learn something new. You come across something you might have missed previously and it refreshes your knowledge. You learn something different from every child you look after. I always stress that I am not here to replace mum or dad, I’m just here to help whilst mum or dad aren’t able to. And I say that to every child that I care for.'
Reflecting on her fostering journey and everything she has learnt, Fiona says: 'I would be lying if I didn't say there have been times when I’ve struggled. But it’s so rewarding when you develop a bond with a child and they begin to trust you. There’s nothing like it.'
