Bethan is a project worker for The Fostering Network’s Mockingbird programme, supporting foster carers and their families to build strong networks of support. Previously, she was a teacher for 21 years and a foster carer for five, bringing invaluable lived experience that helps the families she works with feel truly seen. Here she talks about her fostering journey, how she brings it into her role at Mockingbird, and what needs to change to make foster care more sustainable.
For Bethan, it began with a simple advert on the back of a bus- one many will have seen: a bold poster asking, “could you foster?”
“Yes, I could,” thought Bethan as she sat in traffic.
Her family weren’t complete strangers to fostering. One of her close friends was a foster carer who often visited with the children in her care. It was this friend who encouraged Bethan to think about fostering, noticing how at ease and comfortable the children felt in Bethan’s home.
“My friend kept on saying, ‘you should do this, you’d be really good at it”, Bethan recalls.
“She found that she could bring her foster children to my house and we were just really relaxed.”
When their twins were 11, Bethan and her husband took the leap and were approved as foster carers.
“I really loved being a mum and we are a happy family, and I know we're really lucky to have that. I thought, I want other children to have that and to be part of this lovely, happy family”, Bethan added.
Bringing hands on experience to Mockingbird
This marked the start of their five-year fostering journey. They primarily cared for babies and toddlers - an intentional choice to maintain an age gap between the fostered children and their birth children.
“That big difference in age made a real difference for us. And my daughter would be so excited when we’d find out we would be caring for a baby.”
Having been a teacher for 21 years, and with hands-on fostering experience, Bethan brings an invaluable understanding of children and families to her role within The Fostering Network’s Mockingbird programme.
Mockingbird is an evidence-based model built around the support and relationships an extended family can provide. The model nurtures relationships between children, young people and foster families, supporting them to build a resilient and caring community of six to ten satellite families called a constellation.
In her role, Bethan works with foster carers, children and young people to build and strengthen these constellations. Her lived experience allows her to offer empathy and credibility- families confide in her knowing she truly understands their world.
“I'm able to really understand how the foster carers are feeling”, Bethan says. “We do a lot of compassion fatigue training with foster carers, and I always make a point to share from my experiences as a foster carer, because I think that's really important.”
Financial barriers
Bethan speaks incredibly highly of her experience as a foster carer and truly believes her family were meant to care for the children they did. After five years, they made the difficult decision to stop fostering for a reason many foster carers will recognise: finances.
“We were just at the point where we thought ‘we can't manage this anymore’. It was a real shame, because we fostered babies and preschoolers. So obviously you have to be at home for that. You can't work – they go to nursery a bit – but really they need someone at home”, Bethan explained.
From her experience, Bethan would like to see better fees and allowances to ensure fostering remains sustainable. This echoes the views of many others - our State of the Nation’s Foster Care survey shows that allowances and fees are often inadequate, meaning many foster carers must find additional income to afford to foster. Only one in three foster carers said the fostering allowance - and any expenses they can claim - meet the full costs of looking after the children they foster.
Simple moments mean the most
Despite the challenges, the family cherish memories they have. Bethan recalls a simple dinner-time moment with a one-year-old boy, caught on camera. He’s sitting in his high chair and delighting in the undivided attention of the whole family.
“We’re having dinner and you can see in the video he’s looking at each of us because we’re giving him all of our attention. We were singing to him. We were talking to him. Even though he couldn't really talk he was saying things and we were pretending to have a conversation.
“You could see the joy in his eyes – he had four people all giving him attention. And it was just amazing because you could just see him react and love it”, Bethan adds.
Bethan’s journey as a foster carer changed the lives of the children she cared for and shaped the way she supports others today. Her first-hand experience means she brings empathy, understanding and practical insight into her role within the Mockingbird programme.
Bethan uses her own story to build trust and strengthen relationships. It’s this lived experience that makes her work so impactful, helping foster families feel supported and understood as they create safe, loving homes for children.
