sons and daughters https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/ en The cage fighter who dreams of fostering https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/karina/cage-fighter-who-dreams-fostering <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>The cage fighter who dreams of fostering </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">karina a</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 10/04/2022 - 14:58</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p class="paragraph" style="margin:0cm;vertical-align:baseline">At the age of 12 he suggested fostering to his parents, at the age of 18 he fought his first mixed martial arts fight, now, aged 26, he has embarked on a professional fighting career and&nbsp;dreams of fostering and opening a children’s home. Meet Luke ‘the Gent’ Trainer.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>When Luke talks about the things he cares most about, his passion becomes tangible. With infectious positivity he explains what fostering means to him, how his career is going and how much he loves his family – his sister; his mum, who he calls ‘the queen’; his dad, who taught him how to throw his first punch; and the children they have looked after.&nbsp;</p> <p>Luke’s interviews about his job as a professional mixed martial arts fighter (sometimes known as cage fighting) are filled with odes to his family and how blessed and grateful he is. At any given opportunity the 26-year-old raises awareness of fostering, shares his experiences and encourages other people to come forward to foster.&nbsp;</p> <h3>The purpose of life&nbsp;</h3> <p>Currently, Luke’s daily routine is structured around being the best fighter he can be – he trains two to four times a day – but the one thing that really matters, the athlete (known as ‘the Gent’) says, is making a difference to children’s lives. A life without it seems impossible for Luke to imagine. &nbsp;</p> <p>‘I just want to live comfortably to be able to help children,’ he says, when asked about his career aspirations. And in terms of fostering? The 26-year-old doesn’t hesitate for a second: ‘Oh my lord, I cannot wait to foster. It’s not an “if”, it’s a “when”. But as much as you want to do it, you ned to be stable. There’s a lot to helping a kid and I would want to share this responsibility with a partner.’ &nbsp;<br /> &nbsp;</p> <h2 class="text-align-center" style="color:#ea690a">‘Oh my lord, I cannot wait to foster. It’s not an “if”, it’s a “when”.'&nbsp;<br /> &nbsp;</h2> <h3>Put into perspective&nbsp;</h3> <p>Luke was 12 when his parents started to foster, and this was largely due to Luke’s influence. ‘I was friends with a guy at school whose parents looked after children, and I went over to his one afternoon. I came home genuinely happy with my experience and told my mum and dad in 12-year-old terms what fostering is and about all the kids that were there playing.’ &nbsp;</p> <p>Luke’s mum was in between jobs at the time and she was intrigued. ‘Being the emotional angel she is, she wanted to make a difference,’ Luke says. ‘She contacted my friend’s mum right away. Five days later my parents sat my sister and me down and told us, “We’re starting to foster”.’&nbsp;</p> <p>Since then, the Trainers have looked after children from all types of backgrounds, large sibling groups and individual children. ‘Currently, we are looking after a family of three and it’s our first long-term fostering experience,’ Luke says, adding how proud he is of his parents and his sister.&nbsp;</p> <p>The values his parents and growing up in a fostering family have instilled in him, Luke wants to pass on to his own children further down the line. ‘This is going to sound corny, but I have gained so much gratitude and perspective from fostering,’ he says.&nbsp;<br /> &nbsp;</p> <h2 class="text-align-center" style="color:#ea690a">'This is going to sound corny, but I have gained so much gratitude and perspective from fostering.'&nbsp;<br /> &nbsp;</h2> <p>‘I come home thinking I had a hard day and then I see these kids deal with trauma. These precious little human beings that have no choice on the cards that they have been dealt with. I have parents that love me and do everything for me. I am blessed.’&nbsp;</p> <h3>Fights and choices</h3> <p>Asked whether he ever gets nervous before a fight, Luke shrugs. ‘I am getting to fight in a cage for good money. I am doing it out of choice. I put myself in a life-or-death situation because I want to,’ he says. ‘Children who need a safe place to stay don’t get that choice. There’s nervousness in a fight with referees, rules and a commission. And then there’s nerves when you’re six years old and don’t know who dad will bring home.’&nbsp;</p> <p>‘I think there’s a lot to learn from fostering. And there’s a lot to learn from martial arts. My life goal is to open a children’s home and incorporate the martial arts ethos into it.’&nbsp;</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12543&amp;2=favourite_content" token="tZ764NJO7td4f8nT7BcLijdVS548B8OEi0wRb2a56pY"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12543&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="7CL_E1aw_-C5obYQc3Wdtn3pfsN5XPXMs9ziXnqlMA8"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Tue, 04 Oct 2022 14:58:07 +0000 karina a 12543 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/karina/cage-fighter-who-dreams-fostering#comments New family members, challenges and a vocation - becoming a foster family https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/karina-auer/new-family-members-challenges-and-vocation-becoming-foster-family <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>New family members, challenges and a vocation - becoming a foster family</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">karina a</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Fri, 03/13/2020 - 15:37</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p>For Willow, becoming a foster family meant significant changes. Less alone time, more social interaction, and being outside of his comfort zone a lot more. The 15-year-old, who has sensory processing difficulties, had to get used to the new situation at home but was intrigued to foster right away. He now plays a vital part in the household and supports his parents in delivering the best possible care for a boy with ADHD.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>I am fifteen years old and my family have been short-term fostering a seven-year-old boy, named Sam, since April 2019. This might not seem like a long time compared to a lifetime, but I hardly remember what home life was like before Sam joined us. Over the last year, I have not only grown as a person, but I have been taught many life skills and gained a vital understanding thanks to fostering.</p> <h3>When everything changes</h3> <p>I was the youngest child growing up in my family, with three older half-sisters. I had not cared for younger children, so the entire fostering experience was very new to me. I loved having time to myself, and I am very introverted so I would never choose to be in social situations. But when my parents discussed fostering, it sounded appealing and I was willing to give it a go. I had more than a year to process the upcoming event, yet I think I never allowed myself to understand how much of a change this would be for me. I had always hated change. So, when Sam suddenly joined the family with two days’ notice I still did not feel prepared.</p> <p>Sam has ADHD and is very much extroverted, he is constantly requiring attention and physical contact. For myself, living with sensory processing difficulties, I hated hugs, noise, long conversation. In other words: any interaction with a person who I wasn’t close with. The sudden change in atmosphere, once he had opened up and became more himself in the days after he arrived, was overwhelming for me and I felt very out of place in my own house. But I soon learnt how to adapt myself and my mindset for helping to look after Sam. For the next two weeks after he moved in, I kept a daily note of one thing I found difficult about the day and two things I enjoyed, which helped me to adjust to the new environment and process what was happening each day.</p> <h3>New beginnings...</h3> <p>Sam arrived in our home in floods of tears and endlessly repeating that he did not want to stay with us. It was heart-breaking for everyone involved as our main hope was to provide him with the most welcoming and loving experience in our household through this part of his life. Luckily, it would be another four months before we’d see him cry again. We spent time to learn who Sam was, what his situation was and how to help him. We would learn what he enjoyed, how to praise him, how to talk to him and how to challenge misbehaviour. We are also trying to help Sam understand his own situation, how he is now safe, why he can’t go back home and what will happen in the future. One of the most confusing and difficult things for me to understand has been why he would even want to return to his home where he has made such negative experiences.</p> <h3>... and old patterns&nbsp;</h3> <p>Getting Sam to respect adults and understand that they are likely to know better is very tricky. Sam didn’t have boundaries before he came to live with us, so he was (and still can be) reluctant to abide by rules, since he had not known any before. I thought about this a lot and recently, it occurred to me that to him, adults don’t deserve respect and a lot of the time they are incorrect. You can’t tell him to trust adults, because he won’t believe he can. You can’t tell him to respect adults, when he hadn’t got any respect back. You can’t tell him to listen, since he’s never been listened to. You can’t tell him to not hurt adults, since that’s what he’d learnt to do as he’s grown up.</p> <h3>Personal growth</h3> <div>I have never been brilliant at reading people’s emotions. I can sympathise and guide someone well once I understand how they feel, but I don’t naturally pick it up from basic interactions. It is therefore important for me to talk to my parents and know how they feel about fostering so I understand for myself when things are getting too troublesome and don’t misunderstand what is going on. Throughout the time Sam has been living with us, I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to suggest ways to my parents on how to support Sam in order to help him in the most ideal way possible.&nbsp;<br /> I have learnt many things while fostering. Not only how to sympathise with Sam when he’s struggling but understanding children’s behaviour when they have made traumatic experiences and how to deal with challenging behaviour. I can also tell when people need breaks and how to set boundaries.&nbsp;</div> <div><br /> I enjoy having my family and myself care for a fostered child. I like learning from the challenges that come with it and discussing with my parents how to overcome them. Because fostering is never about one parent or the fostered child, it’s about everyone in the household, and it’d be much harder without us all.</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=11903&amp;2=favourite_content" token="YgaWDwtgqSM1nbgH5TuGpNxZlTHp786ZI5ZtQ6gCiQA"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=11903&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="Rx-4y0QE3mPOGQwiMKvzvk8ET4jKkovBiRjHkN3_pM8"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Fri, 13 Mar 2020 15:37:43 +0000 karina a 11903 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/karina-auer/new-family-members-challenges-and-vocation-becoming-foster-family#comments Sons and daughters are here 12 months a year https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/davideggboro/sons-and-daughters-are-here-12-months-year <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Sons and daughters are here 12 months a year</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">DavidEggboro</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Fri, 10/26/2018 - 14:36</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p>We hear&nbsp;from Alex Shewring, the daughter of a foster carer, about what being a foster sibling means to her</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p class="MsoPlainText">Halloween is upon us and it marks the end of Sons and Daughter’s Month. However, it’s at this juncture that I’d like to remind everyone that, just because Sons and Daughter’s Month is finishing, it doesn’t mean we have stopped fostering.</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">Half-term coincided with Sons and Daughters Month this year. For me, school holidays are a time to forget about my responsibilities and finally sleep in past six in the morning for a week. But with a foster kid in the house, that week turns into running a sleep away camp – planning activities and making lunches and ensuring not too many vases get broken with nerf guns. It’s akin to running a scout camp which, trust me, isn’t easy.</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">I enjoy fostering. I like taking care of kids and helping as much as I can with as much of the fostering process as possible. I like being involved with every aspect of the process. I like to know exactly what’s going on in my own home. Unfortunately we aren’t considered to be ‘professionals’ by some people, when we are arguably some of the most professional people – we can argue our points like trained lawyers, protect children like mama lions, and organise families like fortune 500 CEO’s. We are professionals, that is a fact.</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">Along with being professionals, we are still people. We are as professional as our parents and, for those of us who are under 18, we have to act like grown adults – fighting for children’s rights and protecting them as if they were our own family, even though we are children ourselves. Children protecting children – giving a voice to those who don’t have one, even though we are hardly listened to ourselves.</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">We are sons and daughters and we are one of the most important parts of the fostering system. We can help foster kids develop the important social skills they need. We can teach them to share and how to play and how to treat their peers, all while keeping them in a comfortable and care-free environment. Granted, schools and parents can teach them those skills, but nobody does it quite like a sibling.</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">It’s Halloween, everyone is trying to come up with the best costume. To become someone else for just a night. Someone or something from the imagination of some unbelievably creative mind. Werewolves and vampires and mummies that exist for one night, and one night only.</p> <p class="MsoPlainText">Halloween may fall in Sons and Daughter’s Month but do not let us disappear with the vampires. We are real, and we are here for 12 months of the year, not just one.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1944" hreflang="en">Halloween</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1946" hreflang="en">school holidays</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=11490&amp;2=favourite_content" token="SzzfXgogma1br8OXvkVMWvcLRn4d5UhZORF4jcht__c"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=11490&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="zILPDHfuZ9wtfrySNrbx06srnzWvMuSEBk8d8MOkJeg"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Fri, 26 Oct 2018 14:36:57 +0000 DavidEggboro 11490 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/davideggboro/sons-and-daughters-are-here-12-months-year#comments Award winning sons and daughters https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/n-b-lakhani/award-winning-sons-and-daughters <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Award winning sons and daughters</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">N B Lakhani</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Fri, 02/16/2018 - 16:30</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">Foster carers’ children are a vital part of many fostering families. We spoke to the winners of our 2017 Outstanding Contribution by Sons and Daughters Award to find out why they love being a part of their fostering family and what it was like winning a national award.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><h3>Rebekah Kitchell</h3> <p>Rebekah has been part of a fostering family for more than 20 years. She is an advocate for the young people in her parents’ care, offering a listening ear at any time of the day or night. She was also an instrumental part of one of the first ‘Children who Foster’ groups.</p> <p>Rebekah remained committed to foster care even through university and included her foster siblings in one of her course projects.</p> <p>Rebekah’s mother, Janet, nominated her for the award, describing her as loving, generous and kind.<img alt="" src="/sites/default/files/uploads/sons_and_daughters.jpg" style="float:right; height:267px; margin:10px; width:400px" /></p> <p>‘I was honoured to win the award,’ Rebekah says. ‘It was a surprise from my mother and really showed me how much she appreciates all I have done to help out in the years that she and my father have fostered.</p> <p>‘Fostering is a challenge in itself, and I would say one of my biggest challenges while growing up, was having to “share” my parents. Most of the time I was okay with it, but there were moments when I was younger, when I just struggled to accept that my parents weren't only <em>my</em> parents, and it was tough sometimes.</p> <p>‘Being part of a fostering family is also an honour - I can't say enough positive things about it! To know that your parents are changing another person’s life is such a lovely feeling.</p> <p>‘It has made me the positive and non-judgemental person I am today. I have been able to meet so many children from so many backgrounds throughout my life, an opportunity not many people have and one I wouldn't change for anything!</p> <p>‘I have gained so much invaluable experience through being brought up as part of a fostering family, and I feel I have a greater understanding of the world through this experience, as well as a very positive outlook on life.</p> <p>‘There’s lots of advice I could give to other sons and daughters. I would say that when times are tough, always remember your parents will be there to support you. But also try to remember that the other children your parents are caring for aren't able to live with their parents.</p> <p>‘Try to put yourself in their shoes for just a moment and imagine not living with your parents. Do your best to understand and support the foster children you live with, as you and your parents are their current family.’</p> <h3><strong>Troy Hughes</strong></h3> <p>Nine-year-old Troy was our youngest winner at this year’s Fostering Excellence Awards.</p> <p>Troy was adopted by Susan and George who are also foster carers, meaning he has to share his parents’ time and attention more than most. He takes this in his stride, never showing any jealousy or resentment.</p> <p>On the contrary, Troy welcomes children into the home with open arms, even leaving one of his own teddies on the bed when a new child arrives. Recently he was found helping one of these children as they prepared for adoption, comforting her while looking through her new ‘family book’.</p> <p>Troy was nominated for the award by his parents’ supervising social worker, Kay Cooper, who says Troy is a credit to his parents: ‘He is the most kind, thoughtful and caring nine year old I have ever had the pleasure to work with.’</p> <p>Troy said: ’I am very happy with my award. I am happy to be kind and helpful to any children in our family and I love being a big brother to them.’</p> <h3><strong>Caitlyn Dodds</strong></h3> <p>Caitlyn, who is 14 years old, hasn’t had the easiest of times in recent years, yet has shown great maturity in supporting her mother with fostering, as well as excelling in her own life.</p> <p>Caitlyn has been influential in the decision for her mum to now adopt one of the children living with them and, alongside her commitment to foster care, Caitlyn is also a champion swimmer who is on track for the Commonwealth and Olympic games.</p> <p>Supervising social worker, Naomi Marjoribanks, said: ‘Caitlyn helps us to improve our service and supports young people through their journey. She shows a great deal of empathy towards others, and despite dealing with a number of challenges in her own life, she always supports fostering.’</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=11172&amp;2=favourite_content" token="z70JNaUiDPtY9NAwPcXA8sKqU9nt5trrjM9iYDgf70c"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=11172&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="bz_tSePmMZSvSpb9_oTXVbLhQfi0ro3Zlo7-ssssowE"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Fri, 16 Feb 2018 16:30:03 +0000 N B Lakhani 11172 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/n-b-lakhani/award-winning-sons-and-daughters#comments Sons and Daughters Month 2017: Lauren and Chloe's stories https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/rochelle-bisson/sons-and-daughters-month-2017-lauren-and-chloes-stories <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Sons and Daughters Month 2017: Lauren and Chloe&#039;s stories</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Rochelle Bisson</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 10/31/2017 - 16:57</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">Scotland young champions, Lauren and Chloe, tell us what it's like being the daughters of foster carers as we celebrate Sons and Daughters Month.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><h4>Lauren's story</h4> <p>In 2009 my mum made the decision to foster young adults between the ages of 12 to18.</p> <p>This became somewhat of a controversial topic with some our family and friends due to the misconception that teenagers are more challenging and potentially dangerous; they were especially worried for me and my younger sister, since we were only around 15 and 13 years old ourselves. However my mum ignored their misplaced fears because she realised teenagers were often overlooked. Everyone wants to foster or adopt a baby or young child but not many people think about teenagers.</p> <p>My mum wanted to give young adults a chance to change their lives by giving them the skills and emotional support for them to make their own success. Teaching them simple household skills such as cleaning, cooking and generally looking after themselves. My mum helped them believe in themselves so that they could finish school and go onto further education or get their first job. She treated her foster kids no differently from me or my sister. We grew up together and went through the same struggles every teenager goes through. They became my siblings or good friends. We never judged them because of their background. They may have had heavier baggage, behaviour difficulties, or emotional instabilities but our family worked together to help them through it all.</p> <p>I'm proud of my mum for helping these teenagers flourish into young adults who now have a chance for a better future they may never have had. I have learnt so much through my experience as a daughter of a foster carer. I've been witness to the stigma surrounding those in care. I've listened to their stories, supported them through heartbreaking times and now I want to do more for other young people in care. I also want to educate people and show them that just because someone is in care doesn't mean that they are any different from any other child.</p> <p>Thankfully those family and friends who had fears and doubts in the beginning have had their eyes and minds opened. Whatever expectations they had were completely washed away once they actually got to know the kids in my mum’s care.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <h4>Chloe's story</h4> <p>As the daughter of a foster carer I can say that the experiences we have gained as a family are truly invaluable. It feels amazing to have the opportunity to help both children and parents when they are struggling or just need some assistance.</p> <p>It is surprising still how easy it is to welcome children into the family and think of them as your siblings. It is so rewarding to be able to provide a safe and loving home for children and to be able to watch them grow in trust and confidence each day. Obviously with each age group of children comes new and different experiences, but all of these experiences are equally fantastic to be a part of.</p> <p>Sometimes it can be hard to say goodbye to the children as they move on to either adoption, permanent foster care or back to their families, but knowing that we played even a small part in their future makes it well worth it. It is great to see the children reaching milestones such as learning to swim or ride a bike as you get to see them develop certain skills and know you were helping them along the way.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=11015&amp;2=favourite_content" token="7-VmfBLZQTHCnnJhOBZgGbfWmyvvBWuAkfQ6A2HP-hY"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=11015&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="iUfdnmyrls6AcURlWZIkCPSCvWBYq9rv6RTqw5KPv1U"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Tue, 31 Oct 2017 16:57:29 +0000 Rochelle Bisson 11015 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/rochelle-bisson/sons-and-daughters-month-2017-lauren-and-chloes-stories#comments What about the kids? https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/what-about-kids <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>What about the kids?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Lucy Stevens</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Mon, 10/16/2017 - 13:58</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p>My children were nine and seven when we started fostering. Like anyone who decides to foster, I was worried about the impact our decision might have on our family but particularly on my children.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Of course, we had gone to great lengths to include them in the decision making process and to take account of their worries and concerns. But the children knew that fostering was a passion of mine and I was not so disillusioned as to ignore the fact that my children would want to please us.</p> <p>Their response to the idea of fostering was one of excitement but of course there were things they were worried about.</p> <p>‘What if the child doesn’t like us or they are not nice to us? What if they run away?’ and from my eldest: 'What if I can’t open my heart to them?’</p> <p>And then there were the unspoken fears: What if mum and dad don’t have time for us? What if we just don’t like fostering?</p> <p>It was these unspoken concerns that occupied my thoughts for the first few months of having a child come and live with us. Worrying how my children were doing and worrying about how our foster son was coping felt like walking a tightrope. My technique was all wrong. Instead of keeping my eyes fixed ahead, I was looking down and expecting to fall.</p> <p>In reality, the children took to fostering like the proverbial ducks to water. If I’m really honest, they coped better than I did. I noticed in them qualities that I have since done my best to adopt. They seemed to have an in-built ability to take our foster son as they found him. When he was withdrawn, they left him to it and when he wanted to engage, they were gracious in their response. They were able to go at his pace. They were infinitely patient. They welcomed him without question.</p> <p>Equally, they welcomed our supervising social worker, Tricia, with open arms and greedily accepted her time (and chocolates). ‘Having Tricia is like having our own lawyer,’ said my youngest. I think he meant counsellor but who was I to argue. ’She asks us what we like and what we don’t like about fostering and we can say whatever we like!’ And of course, they enjoyed sharing their “dabbing” (a dance move) techniques with her. In fact, I think they were more preoccupied with the dabbing than with the counselling.</p> <h6><strong>Watch and learn</strong></h6> <p>It’s probably taken about a year of watching my boys adapt to fostering to adapt to it myself. In the early days, my eldest son would roll his eyes and say, ‘Stop asking if I’m ok!’ When I asked them how they thought things were going, they would say they love having a new brother. But it was clear that my eldest son worried about me. I would catch him watching me closely. At this time, when I closed my eyes, I would frequently see an image of myself, palms stretched out above the heads of the boys, my husband and my foster son, eyes skittering between them all. And I realised that while I had a degree of influence on how happy they all were, I couldn’t control or manipulate their responses. I had to lower my hands. I had to focus on my own response. I had to take a leaf out of my children’s book.</p> <p>As I watched my children, I realised that there was something missing in them that was all too present in me. They were able to enter into things without a cumbersome set of expectations, whilst I was staggering beneath mine. It was this realisation that changed things. I needed to let go of my expectations around our foster son’s ability to engage. I needed to let go of the burden of believing I was responsible for everyone’s responses, for their daily sacrifices, for tiny impacts that might never become as huge as I dreaded they would. It was all about me. It was not about me at all.</p> <h6><strong>Letting go</strong></h6> <p>Hindsight is a wonderful thing. If I could go back to the beginning of our fostering journey, I would change many things. But in reality, the things we’ve learned over the last 15 months have made us stronger together, stronger individually and changed for the better. I wasn’t expecting my own children to teach me so much about myself, neither did I foresee that they would shape my approach to fostering. I also had not appreciated that in following my children and letting go of my expectations, it would free my foster son. We still have many challenges ahead but little, by little he is emerging from himself. And if he retreats again? I’ll be doing my utmost to leave those expectations, those disappointments, those unhelpful reactions, well and truly in the bin. In reality, the boys very rarely take the rubbish out on bin day (I’m working on it) but metaphorically, they are expert refuse men, able to instinctively sort through what to throw out and what to keep.</p> <p>Thank you boys.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10991&amp;2=favourite_content" token="5eZyjsVDBH9QQiGjyHVKOx20qM1yIzVjhDTVanIX2n0"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10991&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="SSg9dM0wl33tecuzJyYlh-XgVSf1lrbPzMnbtxCDMfI"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Mon, 16 Oct 2017 13:58:46 +0000 Lucy Stevens 10991 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/what-about-kids#comments So rewarding but often overlooked https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/foster-care-fortnight/so-rewarding-often-overlooked <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>So rewarding but often overlooked</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="" content="Foster Care Fortnight">Foster Care Fo…</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Sun, 05/07/2017 - 15:16</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Lauren is the daughter of a foster carer and also one of our <a href="https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/policy-practice/programmes-and-projects/fostering-community-champions">young champions</a> in Scotland.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Being the daughter of a foster carer has been an experience that has influenced who I am today. It has given me the opportunity to meet people I may never have and given me relationships I will always cherish.</p> <p>My mum made the decision to care for teenagers rather than young children and being a teenager myself, I was excited to help care for my peers. Some felt like siblings and others felt like good friends. Because they were older, we bonded over similar interests and hung out together as I would with anyone else around my age. Many of them were old enough to go out and do their own thing, and this helped my mum keep a stable balance between her work and personal life.</p> <p>Unfortunately teenagers in care are often overlooked by those interested in becoming foster carers, many have admitted their preference in younger children, however my experience has been so rewarding. I've watched them grow into successful adults, with their own ambitions, and thanks to the support from my mum, they gained the confidence to not let their background hinder them. I still keep in contact with some of them through social media and I wish them all the best in whatever they go on to do.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1712" hreflang="en">could you foster</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1831" hreflang="en">FCF17</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/319" hreflang="en">scotland</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10749&amp;2=favourite_content" token="Snf3HGIVAQ5XFDNU0imh47ynGVFTQimLnrM_8uuv6RQ"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10749&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="TazrTpMt7wm_RDnvZXbx-SJ9MTDhpx-UjP-MJ1WBvwk"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Sun, 07 May 2017 15:16:36 +0000 Foster Care Fortnight 10749 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/foster-care-fortnight/so-rewarding-often-overlooked#comments Unconditional love https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/media/unconditional-love <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Unconditional love</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">media</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 10/25/2016 - 10:56</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>My mother started to foster when I was only seven years old.</p><p>I can’t imagine a life with just my brother and I as a family. People would ask me do I come from a big family and I would always answer ‘yes’ -&nbsp;I have one blood brother but I’m blessed to be able to call every foster child a brother or sister in our family. From the moment we open our doors I would find ways to make the child feel part of the family.</p><p>As a family we have great abundance of love for every child. I always take time to listen to any concerns or problems they might have,&nbsp;I would try and give the best advice that comes from my experience without any reservations.</p><p>Every child has the right to be loved and accepted; the courage that they have to walk through our door earns them a place in our home. A lot of the time these children would come into foster care though circumstances beyond their control and somehow manage to deal with the change better than a grown up would. All I want to do is be able to help a child that is feeling, lost, confused and frighten to feel safe and wanted.</p><p>I am now 19 and hope to follow in my mother’s footsteps and foster when I am settled as an adult.</p><p>Growing up in a fostering family has taught me so much about unconditional love.</p><h4><strong><a style="outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px;" href="https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/get-involved/championing-fostering/sons-and-daughters-month">Learn more about Sons and Daughters Month and show your support.</a></strong>​​</h4></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10478&amp;2=favourite_content" token="HUDHU1rPfQ-D2ezONDbXT1rtDm61OMTXgSWl6978bAc"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10478&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="W8p6xoDmT9-yz33rKW1Xzt3pb3mRk-wVpqzS19CDmQI"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Tue, 25 Oct 2016 10:56:54 +0000 media 10478 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/media/unconditional-love#comments Positive signs https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/davideggboro/positive-signs <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Positive signs</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">DavidEggboro</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Wed, 10/12/2016 - 10:43</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Throughout Sons and Daughters Month this October we will be hearing from sons and daughters of foster carers as they share their experiences of growing up in a fostering household. In this blog Samantha tells us how she decided to go that extra mile for her fostered siblings and how being part of a fostering family has influenced her outlook on life.</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>My parents began fostering a few months before I was born, so I have been part of a fostering family for my entire life.</p><p>Makaton has been used within my family for the past 13 years, when one of my foster sisters - who had a disability which caused her to be nonverbal - first moved in with us and it was the only way we could communicate. More recently another foster sister moved in with us, she is also nonverbal and very autistic, she loves watching music videos on her IPad.</p><p>After attending a Makaton training course I decided to try and make some videos for my foster sisters. Initially I signed to some Disney songs, but I have also done a few pop songs and some Christmas ones too. I put the videos onto YouTube so that some of my sister’s friends could watch them as well. Then the videos were viewed at their schools and have since been shared with many other Makaton users in the UK and in other countries around the world.</p><h5>Ups and downs</h5><p>One of the best parts about fostering is being part of a big, busy family. The dynamics change depending on who is living with you,&nbsp;I’ve had older foster siblings, younger and some around the same age. A few have been in short term placements, but the majority were in longer or permanent placements. I’ve had the opportunity to try all kinds of different sports and hobbies because of my foster siblings’ interests. One of my foster sisters and I used to go pony riding together and I used to go rollerblading with two of my older foster brothers; there was always someone to play with.</p><p>I suppose there are times when being part of a foster family affects my social life, but it is no different from ‘ordinary’ big families. In many ways my social life involves my foster siblings anyway. Many of my friends think that I am lucky to be in such a big, diverse, family. They also think that it is wonderful that we can offer a family life to children who may be having a hard time.</p><p>The worst part of fostering is definitely saying goodbye at the end of a placement. I know that in most cases the move is planned and beneficial to the child - whether it be moving back to family, to an adoptive family or onto independence - but it can still make me feel sad to lose them. I keep in touch with some of my fostered siblings; my family is their family. However, it isn’t possible to keep in close contact with all of them, partly because there are so many, but also because some of the families of the children who are adopted want to make a fresh start. Social media has been very helpful in allowing some of my ex-foster siblings trace my family and make contact with us again, which is lovely.</p><h5>Strong relationships</h5><p>I think that being part of a foster family has helped me to understand a lot more about the problems that some children and young people suffer. It has also helped me to be tolerant and caring and very family centred.</p><p>I get on very well with my biological siblings, I have three older brothers and a younger sister, Sabrina Jayne, who was also ‘born into fostering’ and is an amazing role model for our fostered siblings. Maybe our shared experience of fostering has been instrumental in creating such a strong bond between us. I also have two adopted little sisters who we initially fostered. The way in which they have changed from being ‘children who are fostered’ to ‘children who foster’ is amazing, they are so helpful and lovely with our youngest foster sister.</p><p>I have always been very close to my parents and am proud of how they have helped so many children over the years. I was very pleased when they asked me to officially be one of their ‘backup’ carers and helping them foster definitely strengthens our relationship.</p><p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS_VczorX6nIowQkvS5JkmQ?feature=hovercard">Visit Samantha's YouTube channel.</a></p><h5><strong><a style="outline-style: initial; outline-width: 0px;" href="https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/get-involved/championing-fostering/sons-and-daughters-month">Learn more about Sons and Daughters Month and show your support.</a></strong></h5></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1774" hreflang="en">Makaton</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1775" hreflang="en">Disney</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1776" hreflang="en">additional needs</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10460&amp;2=favourite_content" token="xrkpAG2RxGrZtm7Z6hPLwnOGi7M963Xah-Aqvzj8QGg"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10460&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="SeM1E1cGRpdRADW7Omyo_nvD0wJNZB9jEbdFn3A8KGo"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Wed, 12 Oct 2016 10:43:28 +0000 DavidEggboro 10460 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/davideggboro/positive-signs#comments Flower girl https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/davideggboro/flower-girl <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Flower girl</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">DavidEggboro</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Thu, 10/06/2016 - 15:43</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>The fostering process started for my mum and dad when I was around 13 and we welcomed our first fostered child when I was 15, so in total, I have been part of a fostering family for 13 years. I lived at home until I was 18 and then went to Edinburgh for university. Before I became part of a fostering family I had no idea of how many children were in need of a foster home in the area I grew up in but I’m now able to welcome all the children that come through my parents’ door and make them feel part of our family.&nbsp;</p><p>I have always been involved in the children and young people who come to my mum and dad’s and the best aspect of being in a fostering family is seeing the change in the children over the time they have been with us. Their lives turn around and you can see how much happier they are. This is due to the time and effort my mum and dad put into each individual child. I am proud of my parents, and think they deserve a medal for how much patience, kindness and love they give towards fostered children.</p><p>For me I don't think there is a worst part of being part of a foster family. I would say sometimes it is worrying to see mum put a lot of pressure on herself to constantly make everyone happy all the time, but we all work together as a family; fostering has made us closer and made us support each other. My brother, sister and foster brother are all very excepting of our newest foster sister, Sally (name has been changed), and treat her as if she was their sister as well. When planning things on a daily basis we have to ensure that it fits in with everyone so nobody feels left out.</p><h5>First meeting</h5><p>The first time Sally came to stay at my mum’s by herself for a long weekend, my fiancé and I were staying for the weekend as well. I can remember she came in the door and was so scared as it was a new place to stay and there were more new people for her to meet. I instantly felt a connection.</p><p>Soon after that stay Sally was placed with my mum and dad. Initially for the short term but recently this changed to a long term arrangement. This makes me so happy because all she wants is to be part of a family. Since this has happened you can see a change in her behaviour, although she can still be trying, and tries to push the boundaries, she is a lot more settled. This is due to how much time and effort my mum and dad have put in and also how everyone on both sides of the family has reacted towards Sally and made her feel welcome.</p><p>I speak to Sally regularly, or should I say, when she can fit me into her busy schedule. We talk about lots of different things going on in her life and whenever we video call you don't know if you are going to get singing, dancing or a worried little face appear on the screen.</p><h5>Wedding plans</h5><p>When my fiancé and I got engaged in Feb 2015 we hadn't even met Sally - she came to stay with my mum full time in June 2015. We had only just started to make the plans for the wedding, going back and forward to my parents’ house, so we had seen a lot of Sally. We all went to the venue together to view it and she was asking lots of questions about weddings and whether or not she was invited. One evening I said to my fiancé I would like to ask her to be flower girl to make her feel part of the day. When we asked her she said yes but she didn't really know what it meant as she has never been to a wedding before; but she was so happy because she knew she was going to get a pretty dress to wear.</p><p>At Christmas I bought her a sticker book called Weddings, to help her follow what would happen on the day and in the planning of the wedding. It went through the process of picking the dress right up to the day of the wedding.</p><p>We got married in September and when my mum asked Sally what the best bit about the wedding was she said it was the dancing and getting to put her swirly dress on. Sally loves attention and performing, I wouldn't be surprised when she is older if she appears on a stage somewhere.</p><h5><strong><a href="https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/get-involved/championing-fostering/sons-and-daughters-month">Learn more about Sons and Daughters Month and show your support</a></strong></h5></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1758" hreflang="en">ProudToFoster</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10451&amp;2=favourite_content" token="GLsjaZMpmlm5pn_CXUeU68r8Clzwpwn8XsSgij4qnag"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10451&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="LK5NGgG0HcVbdkt70sSyLssGvzsl3gar4SbHgePiZM0"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Thu, 06 Oct 2016 15:43:19 +0000 DavidEggboro 10451 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/davideggboro/flower-girl#comments