behaviour https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/ en Promoting emotional literacy in children with additional needs – a free resource https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/daisy-elliott/promoting-emotional-literacy-children-additional-needs-free-resource <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Promoting emotional literacy in children with additional needs – a free resource</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Daisy Elliott</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 09/19/2023 - 10:09</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p>This blog is written by Dr Ro Rossiter, Consultant Clinical Psychologist. It aims to introduce <a href="https://www.learningdisabilities.org.uk/learning-disabilities/our-work/employment-education/pelican">PELI CAN</a> (Promoting Emotional Literacy in Children With Additional Needs). This is a free web-based framework with story guidance and resources for foster carers to use at home. &nbsp; &nbsp;</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>PELI CAN focuses on supporting children and young people, aged four-18, with additional learning needs, special educational needs and disability and learning disabilities to develop emotional literacy skills. These skills include noticing and coping with feelings, problem-solving and relaxation with the support of staff, parents, carers and others. PELI CAN is built from practice-based evidence, evidence- based practice, collaboration and feedback, literature reviews, networking, community of practice and co-production.&nbsp;</p> <p>The story behind the framework is a simple one – Peli is scared to fly and their friend Tou helps by using the 4 ‘I CAN’s’. The story illustrates the framework and the guidance provides information on the process and content. Through the story, Peli changes from Peli ‘can’t’ to Peli ‘can.’&nbsp;</p> <p><strong>The four I CAN’s are:&nbsp;</strong></p> <ol> <li>I CAN <strong>feel</strong> – develops skills in noticing, naming and becoming familiar with feelings, identifying body signs for these feelings and understanding how they may be connected to situations and behaviours. &nbsp;&nbsp;</li> <li>I CAN <strong>relax</strong> – helps notice body signs and situations that induce worry or anger, and different relaxations that can be used to calm the body and mind. &nbsp;&nbsp;</li> <li>I CAN <strong>think</strong> – helps differentiate thoughts and feelings and build links between feelings, situations, thoughts and behaviours. This also includes resources to help develop problem solving skills, make goals, coping plans and use flexible thinking.</li> <li>I CAN <strong>do</strong> – helps the individual to practice, be rewarded for trying, access support and have fun!</li> </ol> <p>Demonstrating that if Peli can and Tou can, then you can.&nbsp;</p> <p>PELI CAN is not a fixed manual. It recognises that each child and young person is unique, with very wide ranges of abilities (including learning, attention, communication, physical, sensory, sequencing, memory etc.).&nbsp;</p> <p>As well as being of different ages, it recognises adverse childhood experiences/trauma and other linked intersectionalities (such as culture, race, gender, sexuality etc). Ideas for activities are provided with links to electronic resources which can be chosen by the adult and child.&nbsp;</p> <p>You don’t need specific training to use the framework, just experience supporting children and young people with additional needs.</p> <p><strong>Outcomes include:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Improved engagement and participation; listening and turn taking; increases in noticing and naming body signs, learning and using chill skills and relaxation; increase in green and a reduction in red thoughts where able to; improved relationships and problem solving.</li> <li>Reductions in behaviours described as challenging e.g. less ‘meltdowns’, ‘off the wall’ comments, throwing, kicking, hand-flapping.</li> <li>Generalisation and application across settings for example at school and home, with parents, carers and social workers all noticing development of skills like managing outbursts.<br /> &nbsp;</li> </ul> <p><a class="button" href="https://www.learningdisabilities.org.uk/learning-disabilities/our-work/employment-education/pelican">Use the framework&nbsp;</a></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>To access the resource or to ask any queries, &nbsp;you can get in touch with Ro at <a href="mailto:r.rossiter@kent.ac.uk?subject=PELI%20CAN%20">r.rossiter@kent.ac.uk</a>.&nbsp;</p> <p>PELI CAN is supported by the Foundation for People with Learning Disabilities.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Tags:&nbsp;</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1776" hreflang="en">additional needs</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/668" hreflang="en">behaviour</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/312" hreflang="en">mental health</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/665" hreflang="en">special needs</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12724&amp;2=favourite_content" token="TOjR6aMkFwbsp5iHkQs3FXB0jlgO_dN3TE7HcCniMXs"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12724&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="JnOkINB2ZC7hANeqeO8vGHXDSpJL3WYoD-gBzRIyFM8"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Tue, 19 Sep 2023 10:09:03 +0000 Daisy Elliott 12724 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/daisy-elliott/promoting-emotional-literacy-children-additional-needs-free-resource#comments Throwing things https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/throwing-things <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Throwing things</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Cathy Glass</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Mon, 11/02/2015 - 00:00</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">If your child automatically resorts to throwing things when they are angry or don’t get their own way, I suggest you insist they pick up the objects. I’ve fostered many children who throw things in anger, often because their parents do. Indeed it is surprising just how many otherwise responsible adults resort to hurling objects when angry or upset.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Throwing things not only causes breakages to property but is also very dangerous to others, and is indicative of the person being out of control. While&nbsp;a soft toy is unlikely to do any real harm if thrown, a sharp or heavy object will. If a child picks up something ready to throw, tell them to put it down and then move swiftly to remove it from them.</p> <p>One child I fostered, who regularly threw things at school was never stopped&nbsp;as the school operated a policy (in line with many schools) of no physical intervention because of the worry of being sued by parents. The child had long since stopped throwing things at home with me, after the first two incidents where I had taken away his ammunition and imposed a sanction. However, at school the child had learned that he could hold an entire class to ransom by picking up something heavy and threatening to throw it.</p> <p>After one particularly nasty incident when he threw a compass, which narrowly missed a child’s face, I persuaded the school to physically stop him the next time he did such a thing and impose a sanction, reassuring them that I wouldn’t sue. They did, and the child never threw anything again, having lost face in front of the whole class. Throwing, or threatening to throw an object, together with all other negative behaviour, is a way of manipulating a situation and cannot be tolerated. Don’t ever be tempted to laugh it off, funny though it may appear.&nbsp;</p> <p>Cathy Glass (<a href="http://www.cathyglass.co.uk/" style="line-height: 18.0001px;">www.cathyglass.co.uk</a>)</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/668" hreflang="en">behaviour</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/328" hreflang="en">Cathy Glass</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8743&amp;2=favourite_content" token="q-4VJdx72t1THCbTLdtsnGQILzFu5FKOEuGCtrkapYs"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8743&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="P0UpbhWcO8NRR5FZRBnXg5H5654WEaIB1Vxtfk-yDas"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Mon, 02 Nov 2015 00:00:00 +0000 Cathy Glass 8743 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/throwing-things#comments To eat or not https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/eat-or-not <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>To eat or not</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Cathy Glass</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Mon, 06/15/2015 - 09:48</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">Following my last blog on the importance of mealtimes I thought it might be useful to say a few words about some of the problems connected with eating. As foster carers many of the children we look after often have a poor relationship with food, binging or starving, hoarding food, or refusing the meal we have prepared and then taking food from the cupboard when no one is looking. We nurture our children and take pride in seeing them grow and thrive. Food is essential to sustain life and therefore an intrinsic part of that nurturing and love, so that if a child or young person has a poor relationship with food it is very worrying.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Causes of eating disorders include stress, low self-esteem, poor self-image, depression, anxiety, physical, sexual or emotional abuse, pressure at school, bullying, bereavement, or breakdown of family relationships. Binging and hoarding of food in particular can be indicative of food depravation in early life. Many of the children we foster tick many of these boxes. So what can we do to help?</p> <p>Check nothing is worrying the child. Anxiety can take away a child’s appetite just as it can an adult’s. Don’t ask the child at the table if they are worried about anything, but wait until there is just the two of you to have a chat. You may need to coax the worry out of the child, so be relaxed, gentle, and take your time. If there is something worrying your child, reassure them and deal with the problem.</p> <p>Give children equal amounts of attention. Make sure each child is receiving their fair share of attention – both at the meal table and generally. If a child is feeling left out or undervalued for any reason, refusing food can be a way of gaining attention.</p> <p>Expectation: expect the child to eat. As you expect good behaviour so you should expect the child to eat – at the table and the same food as other family members. Be confident in your expectation and the child will see that eating as everyone else in the family is doing is the norm. Obviously you have to set a good example. You can’t expect the child to eat heartily, healthily and happily if you are sitting there picking at your food, claiming you are on a diet or not eating at all.</p> <p>Serve suitable-sized portions. Make sure you are not giving the child too much food. A child’s stomach is a lot smaller than an adult’s so they feel full sooner. If you give your child more food then they can eat they will of course leave some. A general guideline is that a child’s stomach is the size of their fist, as is an adult’s. Give the child a suitable-sized portion; they can always have seconds if they are still hungry.</p> <p>Never use food as a punishment. I’m sure we wouldn’t but obviously never withhold food as a sanction: <em>You’ll go to your room without any tea</em>. Apart from food deprivation being unacceptable, you will be storing up trouble for later by bringing food into the emotional arena, so the next time your child is angry with you they will refuse to eat. And try not to bribe children with sweet things, tempting though it can be at times. Use something unconnected with food as a reward – for example, extra television time, or another fifteen minutes’ playing outside before bedtime. Linking food and behaviour will cause problems.</p> <p>Keep meals simple, especially with young children. If a child has too many different foods on their plate (or too much), they may take the easiest solution and eat nothing. Limit snacking. While a little snack mid-morning or mid-afternoon will sustain a child’s energy levels between meals, too many, too large or very sweet snacks will dramatically reduce a child’s appetite at the meal table.</p> <p>Some books talk about presenting food and then taking it away if the child doesn’t eat. I doubt many parents or carers can do this. If necessary, allow your child extra time to eat. Chat lightly and allow other siblings to leave the table if they have long ago finished while you remain or busy yourself nearby. You don’t want your child to feel isolated by being left alone at the table, but neither should you force siblings to sit at the table. Don’t point out the child’s slow eating, although you can say lightly: <em>Come on, finish your meal and then you can play </em>(or whatever they are planning to do after the meal). The longer a child is allowed to indulge in poor eating, the bigger the problem will be to solve.</p> <p>Accept genuine dislikes. Obviously don’t force a child to eat a food he or she genuinely doesn’t like. All children have food preferences and a few dislikes are acceptable, but refusing to eat all nutritious food is not.</p> <p>Don’t allow food to be a means of control. Food refusal or fussiness can be a way of controlling or blackmailing a parent or carer. Don’t pander to a child’s fussy ways and don’t be tempted to give them something different if they have eaten little or nothing. You will find that a child who is using food as a way to control and to manipulate you will like something one day and angrily reject it another.</p> <p>Lastly and obviously, use common sense. There is no need to worry if a child or young person doesn’t want to eat one day. But if they consistently refuse food or show worrying behaviour around it then you may need to seek professional advice.</p> <p>Cathy x (<a href="http://www.cathyglass.co.uk/">www.cathyglass.co.uk</a>)</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/675" hreflang="en">eating</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/668" hreflang="en">behaviour</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/328" hreflang="en">Cathy Glass</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8472&amp;2=favourite_content" token="fLCpRwNTaMmREQKg70a4aPVY_m1ye9-0bx9I5Un2I3U"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8472&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="DPjqMyx03AyThMMpeoZpNTmmsLCOmx-NrMHs44pQGtE"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Mon, 15 Jun 2015 09:48:58 +0000 Cathy Glass 8472 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/eat-or-not#comments The closed choice https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/closed-choice <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>The closed choice</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Cathy Glass</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Fri, 04/10/2015 - 12:18</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">Since the publication of my most recent book, Saving Danny, in which I used a number of strategies for managing Danny’s behaviour, including the closed choice, I have received many emails from readers saying they’d tried the closed choice and were amazed at how successful it was.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>It’s a very simple but effective strategy to ensure cooperation and works with all ages of children, teenagers and adults. It’s a clever ploy that allows the child to make a decision while complying with what you have asked him or her to do. It is highly successful and greatly reduces confrontation, while increasing cooperation. The end result is that the child has done as you have asked without it becoming an issue. It works like this. You want a child to do something which you think is going to be an issue, as it has been in the past, so you offer two alternatives which lead to the same result – i.e. the child does as you want.</p> <p>Let’s say you want Tom to clear up his toys which are strewn all over the house. Tom has had a great time playing, but you know from previous experience that he is less enthusiastic about clearing up and likely to refuse, ignore you or throw a wobbler. Now is a good time to use the closed choice. Instead of simply saying, ‘Tom, put your toys away, please,’ you say, ‘Tom, it’s time to put your toys away. Which room do you want to clear up first?’ Rather than refusing, Tom will find the answer (the decision as to where he wants to begin) already on his lips – ‘This room first.’</p> <p>Or Claire needs to put on her shoes, because you are going out, but you know from past experience that Claire doesn’t like wearing her shoes and would rather go barefoot, as she does in the house. Instead of saying, ‘Claire, we’re going our shortly, so put on your shoes, please,’ and then bracing yourself for a tantrum, try instead: ‘Claire, we are going out soon. Here are your shoes. Which one would you like to put on first – left or right?’ You say this positively, while offering her the two shoes. Claire will already be taking the shoe she has chosen to put on first without realising she is completing your request. The number of situations where it can be used are limitless.</p> <p>For a teenager there might be issues around keeping their bedroom tidy. Instead of ‘Tom, can you clear up your room now, please?’ which is likely to be ignored or at best acknowledged with a grunt and no movement to tidy, try: ‘Tom, do you want to clear up your room before you have your shower or after?’ Tom now has to make a decision, both of which result in some tidying of his bedroom.</p> <p>If Tom or Claire says ‘Neither’ in answer to your closed-choice question (more likely in the older teenage Tom), then see it through with the 3Rs (explained in my book <em>Happy Kids</em>).</p> <p>I hope you find this helpful, and that you had a happy Easter break.</p> <p>Cathy and family x (<a href="http://www.cathyglass.co.uk">www.cathyglass.co.uk</a>)</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/668" hreflang="en">behaviour</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1602" hreflang="en">closed choice</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/328" hreflang="en">Cathy Glass</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8202&amp;2=favourite_content" token="6AbZqjX7vy_ht1hFg_dFb78GbSg0T1Z8wijNb4-sI-E"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8202&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="MKNcRLWIW5cu2RztgRD0vqlfgjCw4_bq4JQxJW9u0nA"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Fri, 10 Apr 2015 12:18:46 +0000 Cathy Glass 8202 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/closed-choice#comments Young people taking responsibility https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/young-people-taking-responsibility <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Young people taking responsibility</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Cathy Glass</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 03/03/2015 - 10:46</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">Many young people in care feel they have limited say in the decisions that affect their lives and this can have a knock-on effect on their behaviour. Having relinquished responsibility for their actions they no longer hold themselves accountable for the outcome of any negative behaviour. While no one is responsible for the decisions and actions of others we are always responsible for our own decisions and actions, although sometimes we would rather not admit it. Often young people need to have the benefits of taking responsibility for their actions explained to them.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Here are some of the benefits:​</p> <p><strong>Empowerment</strong>. Taking responsibility empowers the young person.&nbsp; Once they feel in charge they can achieve great things. They can decide what they want to do with their lives and set small achievable goals. I am often inspired by the maxim: "We are only limited by the extent of our imagination". It is so true, and by taking responsibility we can empower ourselves to achieve.</p> <p><strong>Liberation</strong>. Taking responsibility liberates the young person from the constraints of their peer group. By passing responsibility to others they live in the shadow of that person’s experiences, expectations, successes and failures, and this results in frustration, anger and bitterness. Once the young person takes responsibility they are no longer beholden to the actions, attitudes or opinions of their peer group and a huge burden lifts from our shoulders.</p> <p><strong>Achievement</strong>. When a young person takes responsibility for their life they can also take the credit for their achievements. Even though they may be working alongside others, positive outcomes are all theirs, and success builds success.</p> <p><strong>Development</strong>. By taking responsibility a young person develops as a person. They learn from their mistakes and can use past experiences to make better judgements in the future. Each new decision – regardless of how small or disastrous the outcome – is character forming. The young person will develop a strength and roundness of character that they never thought possible. Others will experience and appreciate their new-found inner strength, and soon they will be the one leading not following.</p> <p><strong>Satisfaction and contentment</strong>. Taking responsibility for their actions gives a young person the satisfaction and contentment of knowing that they did their best. Even if the outcome is not the one they hoped for, knowing they were in control and couldn’t have done any more engenders peace of mind.</p> <p>So the next time a young person refuses to take responsibility for their actions it might be worth pointing out (in age-appropriate language) the benefits of doing so.</p> <p><a href="http://www.cathyglass.co.uk/happy_adults.html">Adapted from Happy Adults</a></p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/834" hreflang="en">young people</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1549" hreflang="en">young person</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1595" hreflang="en">age</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/668" hreflang="en">behaviour</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/833" hreflang="en">children</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/328" hreflang="en">Cathy Glass</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8119&amp;2=favourite_content" token="gBKoP_5aeEIYJdeKhr3vuLVoN9PFgzha1yX2U-U32g8"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8119&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="9xwELsF0u_NCDxtkiL5j7zXZka5HawP5vfD3lwN0Fww"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Tue, 03 Mar 2015 10:46:41 +0000 Cathy Glass 8119 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/young-people-taking-responsibility#comments Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/attention-deficit-and-hyperactivity-disorder <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Cathy Glass</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Thu, 05/01/2014 - 13:39</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">As foster carers we often look after children who have been diagnosed with ADHD or exhibit the symptoms of this condition.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>The symptoms of ADHD&nbsp;include:</p> <ul> <li>poor concentration, easily distracted</li> <li>difficulty keeping still or quiet, excessive talking</li> <li>disorganised, forgetful</li> <li>always ‘on the go’</li> <li>interrupting and shouting</li> <li>acting impulsively</li> <li>not following instructions</li> <li>easily over-stimulated</li> </ul> <p>Millions of children (and adults) worldwide take medication to counter the effects of ADHD, with the most commonly prescribed drug being Ritalin. But while medication has been hailed as a saviour by some, a significant proportion of those taking it have found that the side effects outweighed the benefit, or that the drug actually worsened rather than improved their condition. Furthermore, there is growing evidence that medicating children does not help them long term but merely masked their problems, and that behavioural management is the way forward.</p> <p>As foster carers we often only have a limited say as to whether a child diagnosed with ADHD should be medicated. I’ve never asked for any child I’ve fostered with ADHD symptoms or who had been diagnosed with ADHD to be medicated. For those children who arrive already taking medicine, I always ask for a review of their medication and suggest we try a period without it. Sometimes all those involved, including the doctor, social worker and parents, agree and we stop the medicine, sometimes they do not agree and I have to continue giving the child the drug. For the 20 or so children whose medicine I was allowed to stop, none were re-medicated while in my care. Instead I focused on clear and consistent boundaries, avoided over-stimulation – for example by excessive use of computer games – and paid particular attention to diet.</p> <p>One nine-year-old boy I fostered for two-week periods every couple of months, to give his parents a break, had been medicated in the past but couldn’t tolerate the medicine, so was no longer taking it. He used to arrive on my doorstep at the start of his stay like a free radical, charging around and yelling continuously at the top of his voice, completely out of control. By the time he left two weeks later he was a different child: talking normally, listening to what others said and able to sit still and concentrate in order to complete a task. However, within 48 hours of returning home he was back to his old uncontrollable self.</p> <p>This went on for the best part of six months, with his mother joking that I must be a witch. But it was no witchcraft. During the weeks he was with me I changed his diet, replacing the processed foods and fizzy drinks he had at home with fresh and mainly additive-free food, and put in place clear and consistent boundaries for good behaviour. Eventually the parents were so impressed that rather than burning me at the stake, they agreed to try my formula. It was so successful that a month later they felt confident enough to manager their son without further respite.</p> <p>How many other children with ADHD would benefit from some simple changes to their diet and lifestyle instead of being medicated, I wonder? We won’t know unless we try. I feel as foster carers we have a duty to children with ADHD not to medicate unless it is the very last resort and then for as little time as possible. What are your experiences?</p> <p>Cathy x (<a href="http://www.cathyglass.co.uk/">www.cathyglass.co.uk</a>)</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/668" hreflang="en">behaviour</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1461" hreflang="en">Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1462" hreflang="en">ADHD</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/328" hreflang="en">Cathy Glass</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=7271&amp;2=favourite_content" token="ieRpw6TH64BoqODA-Wclk8QTZO9TG158KRDLPHxQxsg"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=7271&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="gPuTRUkOyUYkWkWILkIj9HCOvgEzQVJKkycdaa35MJY"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Thu, 01 May 2014 13:39:18 +0000 Cathy Glass 7271 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/attention-deficit-and-hyperactivity-disorder#comments The Naughty Step https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/naughty-step <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>The Naughty Step</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Cathy Glass</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Fri, 03/07/2014 - 08:27</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p>We are all familiar with the naughty step which may also be a naughty chair, spot, or corner. It is a designated area where the child is made to sit alone for a set period of time (usually one minute for each year of the child’s age), until he or she is ready to rejoin the family or group and behave. Many parents, carers, childminders and nursery schools use the naughty chair and find it works well. It allows the child to take time out to calm down and reflect on his or her bad behaviour. It also reinforces in the child’s mind that he or she has been naughty and their behaviour is unacceptable.</p></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/668" hreflang="en">behaviour</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1437" hreflang="en">discipline</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1438" hreflang="en">rewards</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/328" hreflang="en">Cathy Glass</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=7027&amp;2=favourite_content" token="3Ni72iPOUL-W1KIomjlRPw_6LTQYKdjag9I8pGPnK44"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=7027&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="RME1jUPxhF5qYwEWLrNGbDOZKt6ZxoTuRtdmWmLMSfA"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Fri, 07 Mar 2014 08:27:56 +0000 Cathy Glass 7027 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/naughty-step#comments Is your child out of control? https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/your-child-out-control <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Is your child out of control?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Cathy Glass</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 10/01/2013 - 08:22</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">So what constitutes behavioural difficulties or a child out of control, and does it apply to your child?</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Behavioural difficulties usually build up over many years and will include some, possibly all, of the following:</p> <ul> <li>Your child refuses to do as he or she is asked within a reasonable time.</li> <li>Is verbally rude, answers back, talks over you, interrupts, doesn’t listen, demands rather than asks.</li> <li>Walks away when you are talking, covers his or her ears or makes a loud noise when you are talking.</li> <li>Shouts, screams, throws things or has tantrums when his or her demands are not immediately met.</li> <li>Satisfies his or her own needs to the exclusion of others’.</li> <li>Dominates you, your partner, siblings and friends.</li> <li>Manipulates or threatens you or others – with verbal or physical aggression.</li> <li>In older children, displays antisocial behaviour including stealing, vandalism, drug and alcohol abuse.</li> </ul> <p>All children display some challenging behaviour sometimes, but you will know the difference between the occasional refusal of a child testing the boundaries, and a child who has behavioural difficulties and is out of control. There is one factor which governs all of the child’s actions, and which you may have identified but didn’t like to admit: he or she is in charge, and dominating you through their unacceptable behaviour. They have become ‘top dog’ and leader of the pack.</p> <p>Apart from challenging and governing you through their bad behaviour there will be other less obvious signs that your child is out of your control and in charge:</p> <ul> <li>The child pushes ahead of you to go through a door first.</li> <li>He or she sits on the seat in the lounge where you were about to sit, so you have to sit somewhere else.</li> <li>He or she speaks first when you meet your friends in the street.</li> <li>They always answer the door, house phone and even your mobile.</li> <li>They question you and need to know what is going on the whole time – you have no privacy.</li> <li>Your meals are based on what the child wants, to avoid scenes.</li> <li>Family gatherings are dominated by the child and you are on tenterhooks to keep them happy to avoid a scene.</li> <li>You find you have modified your own behaviour and the activities of the family to accommodate the child.</li> <li>You find yourself making excuses for the child’s behaviour.</li> </ul> <p>A child who is out of control won’t be continuously throwing bricks through windows; they won’t have to. They are in charge and everyone works to their agenda. In my next blog I’ll look at how parents and carers can regain control.</p> <p>Cathy Glass (<a href="https://www.cathyglass.co.uk">www.cathyglass.co.uk</a>)</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/668" hreflang="en">behaviour</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/328" hreflang="en">Cathy Glass</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=6577&amp;2=favourite_content" token="Rv0l3_XjRkBjetplmNU1IE650-ytJMGU4WVm9wr-Ui0"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=6577&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="aQPVf4K6dZVLCSa5U2-Vi1omNE0_fEa8ETJ9mrfzWP4"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Tue, 01 Oct 2013 08:22:00 +0000 Cathy Glass 6577 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/your-child-out-control#comments The Honeymoon Period https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/honeymoon-period <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>The Honeymoon Period</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Cathy Glass</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Mon, 09/02/2013 - 09:30</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">We’ve all done it. We arrive at a support group meeting singing the praises of the child who has just arrived to live with us, and who had a reputation for very challenging behaviour but it is now an angel. We give ourselves a little pat on the back. It was easy really. We started as we meant to carry on and put in place the boundaries for good behaviour, and the child or young person responded. There was also some suggestion that there might have been a personality clash between the child and the previous carer’s family, so all in all the move was better for everyone. The child is settling in well and all is rosy.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>A month later we slink into the next support group meeting somewhat subdued. We confide quietly to those closest to us that we are exhausted, at our wit’s end, and are going to ask for respite to support the placement. The angel has turned into a monster and it’s impossible to equate the child who first arrived with the one we are struggling to care for now. The honeymoon period is well and truly over, and the carer is likely to be in for a very rocky ride, possibly lasting for many months before everything settles down again.</p> <p>If you are looking after a child whose behaviour seems too good to be true, then the chances are it probably is. A child can only internalise pain for so long and then it has to come out. Challenging behaviour tests the boundaries and will also test you. The child wants to know if your love and concern is strong enough to stand his or her testing, or are you going to confirm what the child suspects: that they are bad and worthless and need to be moved on.</p> <p>Many children behave well in the early weeks of a placement as they seek to ingratiate themselves into their new family and win their love and approval. You and your family in return will be going out of your way to welcome and include the child, compensating (possibly over-compensating) for the fact that the child is not able to live with his or her own parents and has led a very sad life. This is only natural but the honeymoon period can’t last for ever. Routine and familiarity will set in and the child will start to test you.</p> <p>The good news is that with patience, time, boundaries, love and concern the child will turn a corner and the situation will improve dramatically. I’ve seen this myself countless times and it is one of the reasons I wrote Happy Kids. I’ve also had many emails from carers who have come through this difficult time to enjoy a new and improved relationship with the child. You won’t see the angel reappear but what you will have is a child who has strengths and weaknesses, good and bad days, demands and needs, and who is a fully integrated member of your family.</p> <p>Cathy Glass (<a href="http://www.cathyglass.co.uk">www.cathyglass.co.uk</a>)</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/539" hreflang="en">respite</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/668" hreflang="en">behaviour</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1020" hreflang="en">boundaries</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1021" hreflang="en">placements</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/328" hreflang="en">Cathy Glass</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=6479&amp;2=favourite_content" token="FnQHC9giTjeIu8jscINFjgdwuSKb6v0WK1epLbmZ9r8"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=6479&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="rncbqLQmktvVWsSWyiOIP6FjF7_xjcbFMLMsfF0jj9A"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Mon, 02 Sep 2013 09:30:00 +0000 Cathy Glass 6479 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/honeymoon-period#comments Respect https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/respect <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Respect</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Cathy Glass</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Mon, 07/01/2013 - 09:29</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">One of the issues I explore in my book Happy Kids is that of respect. So often when I see the children I foster with their natural parents, I see a complete absence of respect. Not only from the children to their parents, and vice-versa, but also between the parents themselves, and from the parents towards other adults. It is so sad, and it makes working with these families and trying to rebuild relationships difficult. No one listens to anyone else, as each person focuses solely on their own needs; shouting orders, commands and insults, oblivious to each other.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Respect is crucial, both for a healthy family, and for an individual to function successfully in society. It has been suggested that the lack of respect now seen in many children is responsible for the growing crime rate among minors. There is a saying that ‘what goes around, comes around’, and treating a child with respect will certainly reap its own rewards - he or she will copy the parents or carers behaviour and treat them with the same respect. Children reflect the behaviour they see around them - positive and negative; they absorb it sub-consciously like a sponge.</p> <p>It goes without saying that as foster carers we always treat our children with respect, but if a child has been living in a disrespectful environment for a long time when they first arrive work will need to be done. Politeness is a big part of respect – teaching a child to say please and thank you; not to snatch and grab; requesting rather than demanding; being aware of and responding to others feelings and wishes; cooperating and having patience, all go to make up respect.</p> <p>I was recently asked to draw up some guidelines to help parents achieve respect in their children. I’d like to share these with you. You can probably think of more.</p> <ul> <li>Never demand, but request – firmly if necessary.</li> <li>Don’t shout, but speak in an even voice, repeating at the same level if necessary.</li> <li>Listen to what the child has to say and take their opinions seriously.</li> <li>Don’t interrupt or over-talk when a child is speaking, and don’t let them over-talk or interrupt you.</li> <li>Teach good manners, tolerance, gentleness, and cooperation in their dealings with others.</li> <li>Talk about other people’s feelings and about not hurting them.</li> <li>Empathise and be aware of the child’s point of view just like they should be aware of yours.</li> <li>Ask the child questions, and listen carefully to their replies.</li> <li>Never smack a child or use any form of corporal punishment (is it illegal for a foster carers to physically chastise a child); it is humiliating for all concerned and sets a very bad example to the child.</li> <li>Never allow a child to verbally or physically assault another person.</li> <li>Don’t be afraid to set boundaries for good behaviour, with a system of rewards and sanctions.</li> </ul> <p>Last but not least, spend time with the child. Time is far more important than anything money can buy. It sends the child the clear message that he or she is worth your attention and that you find pleasure in their company – that is the ultimate respect.</p> <p>Cathy Glass (<a href="http://www.cathyglass.co.uk/" title="Cathy's website">www.cathyglass.co.uk</a>)</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/668" hreflang="en">behaviour</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/930" hreflang="en">respect</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/931" hreflang="en">manners</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/328" hreflang="en">Cathy Glass</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=6251&amp;2=favourite_content" token="cI1-EwdzucWI0DDRYPKnnS5JXDP0Tq7pcM8_-98lpj8"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=6251&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="e9-TNolyz6uLsawZptF17qVaWdLz88e-YllEOfHQ4gE"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Mon, 01 Jul 2013 09:29:00 +0000 Cathy Glass 6251 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/respect#comments