community https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/ en Wexbaby – a small business with a special story https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/louiseventon/wexbaby-small-business-special-story <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Wexbaby – a small business with a special story </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">louiseventon</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Wed, 01/04/2023 - 14:42</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Ettie is 30 years old and runs her own business: a children’s clothing line called Wexbaby. For Ettie, it is a way to celebrate her French roots and give back to her foster carers for all they have done for her and her sister Sally. Read her story here.&nbsp;</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>When Ettie talks about foster care, her voice is full of gratitude and love. She repeats how lucky she considers herself for the experiences she made in foster care and how much her foster carers, who she calls her parents, mean to her.&nbsp;</p> <p>For years, Ettie who founded Wexbaby when she was just 24, has donated a percentage of her small business’ profit to The Fostering Network to support our work. ‘To me it feels like giving back to June and Pete and saying thank you’, she explains her commitment to the cause.&nbsp;</p> <h3><strong>Foster care journey</strong></h3> <p>June and Pete were Ettie and Sally’s first and only foster carers. The sisters had been in and out of care a couple of times before being taken into foster care permanently when they were seven and nine years old. Whenever they needed to be looked after, they stayed with June and Pete.</p> <p>The couple, who cared for over 400 children throughout their time as foster carers, were emergency carers back then and very much&nbsp;invested in the girls’ life. ‘I think Pete and June just fell in love with us and they really liked our mum. They always kept an eye on how&nbsp;we are doing’, Ettie remembers. When it became clear that Ettie and Sally needed to stay in care, June and Pete spared no effort to&nbsp;ensure the girls could stay together – and with them. The couple switched from emergency to long-term foster care to be able to provide&nbsp; &nbsp;the sisters with the stability they needed.&nbsp;</p> <p>Family is everything to Ettie and that includes both her birth family – her mum, who she speaks highly of and wants the world to know what a wonderful person she was – her dad, her cousin and her grandparents who are all based in France, as well as June and Pete. The latter have done all they could to ensure Ettie and Sally stay in touch with their French family throughout their time in care. But not just that: they also built a wonderful relationship with the birth family themselves. Some of her fondest childhood memories, Ettie says, are of the holidays she spent in France visiting her relatives with her sister and June and Pete. &nbsp;</p> <h3><strong>A family business&nbsp;</strong></h3> <p>Wexbaby is also kept within the family. Ettie, who studied fashion at university, is running the business single-handedly, but Sally is the talent behind the illustrations which make for the clothing’s distinctive design. Their cousin in France, ‘a primary school teacher with French handwriting’, provides the text for the prints. The designs honour the women’s French roots and by supporting The Fostering Network and their foster carers, as Ettie emphasises.&nbsp;</p> <p>During the festive period, Wexbaby sold a Christmas pyjama set on with a special meaning to it. ‘The profits from the set were donated to The Fostering Network. There were the options of a couple of designs, which could be personalised. Maybe that’s the care experienced child in me but I love a personalisation.’&nbsp;</p> <h3><strong>Looking ahead</strong></h3> <p>Asked about her plans for the future, Ettie immediately starts talking about growing Wexbaby further. She says she would love to have a team behind the brand and wants to support her family with the business. Growing it also means Ettie could support foster care even more, which is of utmost importance to the 30-year-old.&nbsp;</p> <p>Ettie also shares that she considers becoming a foster carer herself in the future. ‘Our childhood was very difficult in moments, but I also know we were very lucky. We had foster carers who did everything possible to make us feel “normal” and I can’t put into words, how much I love my foster family and the relationship we have. The love we got from them and the love they showed our biological family shaped who we are. I just want to give someone the opportunities me and Sally got.&nbsp;</p> <p>‘Even a fraction of the love we received would have done us the world of good for adulthood. It shows how much you can change someone’s life.’</p> <p>If you want to support fostering and a small business, please check out Wexbaby <a href="https://www.wexbaby.co.uk/">here</a>.&nbsp;<br /> &nbsp;</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/249" hreflang="en">community</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12576&amp;2=favourite_content" token="6DKGvJ3c9A4C3PVDRWqzqMdQeP5LUDr2yfc3YvZDM1k"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12576&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="illDaKxs5_yrdn6wWVaApoF2jXOU6s8AiVKZFZdrKLo"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Wed, 04 Jan 2023 14:42:06 +0000 louiseventon 12576 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/louiseventon/wexbaby-small-business-special-story#comments Care experience meets research - introducing a new podcast and their hosts https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/karina-auer/care-experience-meets-research-introducing-new-podcast-and-their-hosts <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Care experience meets research - introducing a new podcast and their hosts </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">karina a</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Fri, 03/05/2021 - 15:49</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p>What does a media professional, who is a saxophonist and advocate for care experienced young people have in common with a PhD student, who graduated in experimental psychology and worked as a physics teacher?… A podcast. Sophia and Eva have recently launched Who cares about Research? – a podcast that makes social research more accessible. We have asked them why this is needed and what can be expected.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p><strong>1. First things first: Can you tell us a bit about your podcast? </strong></p> <p>Sophia: Who cares about Research? is a podcast dedicated to sharing cutting edge social research with the people it most affects, such as e.g., care experienced young people. As a care leaver who’s pretty outspoken on social media, I often get invited to speak at conferences as a ‘lived experience voice’. Last year, I got to go to my first academic conference and I was blown away by how much cool social research was being done that I’d never heard about before. This podcast aims to share this in an accessible way, especially with the communities the research is looking at.</p> <p>Eva: We chat to people at the forefront of social research and each episode we tackle a new topic ranging from social worker stress, to the ethics of social media in child protection. You don't need any special expertise to listen and learn with us. We talk about research that is relevant to the real world. This should guide practice and change our outlook on the world.</p> <p><strong>2. How did the podcast come about? </strong></p> <p>Sophia: At the start of lockdown, I had begun thinking about applying to do a PhD. I realised, however, I didn’t simply want to add to the catalogue of inaccessible and unread research, but rather draw out all the incredible work that had already been done. I decided that I wanted to create an accessible platform in order to share these findings, and as a former-radio presenter with all the audio equipment needed, a podcast ticked all the right boxes!</p> <p>Eva: When I started teaching I couldn't match up how little research I was hearing about regarding how to support my students and what I knew was being investigated from my undergraduate degree. I have desperately wanted to address this and do research that matters now and isn't closed off to those who generously give their time to participate. When Sophia told me about her project I was pretty blown away and the rest is history!</p> <p><strong>3. Who is the podcast for and who do you hope will listen? </strong></p> <p>Eva: The podcast is aimed at two key groups of people. Firstly, we want to reach out to the people the research we discuss is all about – e.g., young people with experience of being in care. Part of how we will do this is through our second target audience: people whose practice could be directly informed by access to the most cutting edge research in their field. These professionals may be teachers learning how to support their pupils in care, or social work commissioners thinking about the support systems provided for their staff. There is research out there that has the potential to make us all more effective in these critical roles.</p> <p><strong>4. Why is it so important to have a podcast like this? </strong></p> <p>Eva: There is a figure constantly thrown around that it takes 20 years for research to translate into changes in practice. The reason for this is partly the huge numbers of barriers for the people doing the practices to access the research. We hope the podcast helps to remove these. We hope foster carers, social workers and other professionals whose work is linked to social research will benefit from listening to this podcast, and that it will help them keep their practice informed by the latest research in their field.</p> <p>Sophia: I spotted a huge negative impact of inaccessible research, especially on the communities studied. For years, we were told, for instance, that half of care leavers withdraw from university in their first year. The real number, however, is closer to 19 per cent. I’ve heard this statistic too often, and it took an academic who I happened to be following, to post a tweet for me to find out that was incorrect. That shouldn’t be the case. We want to see a world where the general public, in particular those with lived-experience, will be empowered by accessing knowledge gained from research about them. This research also has to translate into evidence-based practice.</p> <p>_________________________________</p> <p>New episodes of Who cares about Research? are being released every Wednesday.&nbsp;You can listen to the podcast <a href="https://whocaresaboutresearch.com/">here</a>.</p> <p>Find out more <a href="https://twitter.com/WCARPodcast">here</a>.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/249" hreflang="en">community</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12168&amp;2=favourite_content" token="6Q64-AGfklgABy6fI0YMnVchWtCDLMlwRzChVE-mGvA"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12168&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="mfCvDAQN94LLf0z-HRsE0fshhVZAnl_Mf-NWl_JF19Q"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Fri, 05 Mar 2021 15:49:28 +0000 karina a 12168 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/karina-auer/care-experience-meets-research-introducing-new-podcast-and-their-hosts#comments Launching in Lockdown https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lizziethomas/launching-lockdown <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Launching in Lockdown</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">lizzie.thomas</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Mon, 03/01/2021 - 12:17</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Every Mockingbird constellation is different, but the first task for the hub home carer and liaison worker is to begin building links and relationships in their constellation.&nbsp; This has&nbsp;become&nbsp;more challenging under lockdown&nbsp;restrictions, but Portsmouth found a way to spark enthusiasm.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>‘I can't believe how quickly we are seeing positive results’, Vicky Laybourne, liaison worker for a newly founded Mockingbird constellation in Portsmouth, tells us. ‘The support from every carer has been fabulous and the children are starting to bond already even in lockdown!’&nbsp;</p> <p>The Fostering Network’s Mockingbird programme is an evidence-based model structured around the support and relationships an extended family. Led by a hub home carer and liaison worker, the constellation community offers vital peer support and guidance for foster carers and young people alongside social activities and sleepovers to strengthen relationships and support permanence. &nbsp;</p> <h3>Virtual fun and games&nbsp;</h3> <p>Every constellation is different, but the first task for the hub home carer and liaison worker is to begin building links and relationships in the constellation. Ensuring all satellite families&nbsp;commit&nbsp;to being active members of the constellation community has become&nbsp;more challenging under lockdown, but Portsmouth found a way to spark enthusiasm: An online launch party.&nbsp;</p> <p>The jungle theme chosen was based on ‘I’m a celebrity get me out of here’ aka ‘I’m in Mockingbird, get me in’ and every detail was thoughtfully planned.&nbsp;To ensure every satellite household had all they needed to join the online games and activities, including animal bingo, a scavenger hunt and lots of fun challenges, the hub home carers Ally and Lee delivered party bags to each home the afternoon before the launch. Party bags included both treats and forfeits, such as ‘bugs’ (jellybeans) to eat and children were given the option to pass their bug to their foster carer where they didn’t want to take the risk. The chilli flavour was voted worst of all, but everyone agreed the spider cupcakes made up for it all!</p> <p>All satellite families entered the spirit of the event: Children were wearing animal face masks and adults rocked the especially printed t-shirts and jungle hats. Those attending decorated their backdrops with plants and greenery to enhance the jungle theme and there was even a ‘Mockingbird, let me in’ pup!&nbsp;</p> <h3>Planning for the future</h3> <p>Ally and Lee are happy with how far the constellation has come since launching in January. ‘We hope that we will see all children and young people gain friendships and make meaningful connections’, they say, sharing their hope for the constellation’s future. ‘We want our young people to know that they have somewhere they can come for sleepovers, just for fun or if things are a bit tricky at home. We want the children and young people in their constellation to know we are there for them.’</p> <p>To make this a reality under current circumstances the couple worked tirelessly with their service before launching to carefully risk assess and build Covid safe support plans for the families involved. Thanks to their planning some households are already able to make use of sleepovers and day time support care at the hub home and they even managed to meet the higher needs of a satellite carer who recently suffered a significant injury, by enabling them to form a bubble with a satellite carer who is close by and able to offer a good deal of support during the day.&nbsp;</p> <h3>Early shoots of success</h3> <p>Even though many activities still happen virtually, such as game nights, Ally and Lee are excited to keep building that extended family network with that Mockingbird is all about. And so far it’s going well.&nbsp;</p> <p>Most carers come to Mockingbird because the sense of community and the fun activities for all and they have started to see benefits for some children already. ‘One child, who has previously struggled with building relationships and friendships, has already been able to experience a sleepover and going for tea with a new friend’, says Vicky seeing that all the effort put into the new constellation is already having impact.&nbsp;</p> <p>This also showed when Ally and Lee supported a contact session for a larger family who have often found it tricky to get everyone together at the same time. The hub home carers worked hard to make sure everyone felt welcome and was safe in their garden and the day ended with the children talking about how they had enjoyed their family afternoon and that they can’t wait for the next visit.</p> <p>We wish this and all six&nbsp;constellations launched in England Scotland and Wales so far in 2021&nbsp;all the best for the future!</p> <p><br /> &nbsp;</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/249" hreflang="en">community</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12154&amp;2=favourite_content" token="HNW6ISqsqu32eZewCbcdpC-WC3VXOcBq5CttO19VFgY"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12154&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="Ie_oxZbLP2XcGqGxWWgDe_LaaYBApMYKrtcHwTyACCY"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Mon, 01 Mar 2021 12:17:40 +0000 lizzie.thomas 12154 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lizziethomas/launching-lockdown#comments A child arrives from overseas https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/child-arrives-overseas <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>A child arrives from overseas</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Lucy Stevens</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Wed, 07/27/2016 - 11:08</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">We’ve all seen it on the news. We’ve watched the exodus of men, women and children with a mounting sense of horror and helplessness. We know that there are thousands upon thousands of children displaced from their homes and everything they’ve ever known. We know many of these children are on their own, traumatised, bewildered and afraid.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>We live in the age of information, where, from the comfort of our armchairs we can witness the plight of others. Never have we been so armed with the images, the soundtrack of suffering which could allow us to put ourselves relatively effortlessly into the shoes of others.</p> <p>And yet I am struggling to conjure the words to explain how it feels to come face to face with the reality of what is happening to these children. What do I feel? Angry? Yes. Humbled? Yes. Heartbroken? Yes. Filled with admiration and respect? Conscious and ashamed of the shallowness of our society? Yes. Yes. Yes. Overwhelmed? Often.</p> <p>Please forgive me for focussing on how I feel in all this; it’s simply that I can’t speak for the boy who has turned up on our doorstep with just the shirt on his back and no words in English to express the enormity of what is happening to him. I can only speak for me.</p> <h6>A moon landing</h6> <p>Let’s step away from the situation these children have fled. Let’s ignore for now the journey they have made and the terror they’ve experienced. Let’s meet them where they are. In England. In 2016. With no understanding of the language. And even less understanding of the culture. Where water comes out of the tap and not the well. Where a room is lit up by the flick of a switch. Where images are everywhere. Where people make decisions for you but struggle to communicate them to you.</p> <p>During his first week with us, our young lad came to watch my birth children’s sports day. He did this as he does everything- with staggering good grace. I have been to every one of my boys’ sports day but this year I saw it through his lens. I felt like I had landed on the moon. I watched as parents turned up in bright dresses, tshirts and shorts. I watched them slapping on the sunscreen and laughing carelessly amongst themselves. I watched them cheer and clap their children. And our young lad watched too. I watched as the children lined up for the final race, the object of which is to run the length of the field with a cup of water and empty the cup into a bucket at the other end. I wondered what he made of such frivolous use of such a precious resource. I felt strangely detached from the whole thing. Perhaps I am feeling a little of what he is. In the same way that a vaccination introduces a little of the disease, I’m acutely aware of his discomfort, his confusion, his awkwardness and I feel a measure of it myself.</p> <h6>Questions, questions and more questions</h6> <p>One of the few things I knew about our lad before he arrived was that by the time he got to us, he would have been subjected to questioning. His mobile phone and any contact numbers would have been taken from him. He would have been asked again and again for his name, his age, his reason for being here, details of the journey he’d made, and where he was trying to get to. It is little wonder that he turned up looking hunted, exhausted and in a state of utter shock. I was determined that in us he would find a question-free-zone. That’s not to say we don’t have plenty of questions but we have to be patient and let the answers come out in the wash.</p> <p>Once the social workers had left, he must have felt bereft, alone, afraid and confused. He must have wondered what was happening and what his future held. He must have been anxious for the parents whom he could no longer contact. Did he cry? Did he get agitated? Did he rage against his predicament? No, he calmly allowed me to lead him upstairs to his bedroom. He showered and he let me take his dirty clothes to wash. All he owned in the world he was handing over to me. I felt the weight of that. I knew they had to be clean and dry and waiting for him in the morning. We’re all he’s got right now, in this strange place. He’s going to have to trust us. I want to be worthy of that trust.</p> <h6>Mothering</h6> <p>With the aid of an interpreter, we explained that we are his carers, that we are here to care for him, to clothe him, feed him, to worry about him, to help him settle in. He is completely without power in this new world he has landed in. And this powerlessness too, we have an understanding of. There are many decisions we will never be able to make on his behalf, but I focus on the ones we can make. So we decide to provide a place for him to heal and to recuperate. We decide we will try to do all we can to help him rebuild his life, whether that be with us or not. But before all of that we decide to just let him be. One day at a time.</p> <p>I can’t help thinking of the mother he has left behind. She is in my sleeping and my waking and I pray that she will soon know he is safe. I wonder what on earth she must be going through. How much she must have loved him to let him go. And here he is, in our care. I feel the weight of this too. And it is wonderful and terrifying in equal measure.</p> <p>But I know whatever I am feeling, he is feeling it more. I watch his bravery and I’m humbled by it and I don’t say that glibly. He’s brave, he’s strong, he’s calm and my gut tells me he’s honest. I believe he can make it, and we’re ready and willing to help him.</p> <p>When I look at him, I look the world in the face, warts and all. I can’t change the world but we just might be able to make a difference to his life. This is not heroism on our part; the hard work is his. It is, after all, he who now has to piece together a new life from the detritus of the one he has left behind.</p> <hr /> <p><strong>The Fostering Network has launched a new guide for foster carers on supporting unaccompanied asylum seeking children.</strong> The guide, which is relevant UK-wide and is suitable for foster carers who are new to caring for unaccompanied asylum seeking children or who have been doing so for some time, is available to&nbsp;<a href="http://www.fosteringresources.co.uk/?cid=1&amp;sid=3&amp;pid=584&amp;p=0" style="outline-width: 0px; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">download as an eBook</a>&nbsp;for £2 each or £20 for 20.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1739" hreflang="en">UASC</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/249" hreflang="en">community</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1917" hreflang="en">Lucy Stevens</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10367&amp;2=favourite_content" token="a2-3FdeJRM-gBv0MZOrrfXv2Yob7mGb1qmroqcIMzFc"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10367&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="cBeWs6VPQeWTCGoymFBdwWjrnGJuJOnPJ8bFrYSNVug"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Wed, 27 Jul 2016 11:08:13 +0000 Lucy Stevens 10367 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/child-arrives-overseas#comments Marking a decade of togetherness https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/davideggboro/marking-decade-togetherness <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Marking a decade of togetherness</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">DavidEggboro</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Thu, 07/21/2016 - 16:03</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">Jude Black has been a social worker for 40 years and currently works for the fostering team at Gloucestershire County Council. She created one of the first groups in England catering specifically for birth children of foster carers and has overseen its growth and development. The group is now well established and recently celebrated its 10th anniversary.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>I came up with the idea of the group when&nbsp;I was supporting a family who had always fostered teenage girls. They had a young daughter and as she was growing up they chose to foster a younger girl for their next placement - feeling their daughter might better relate to the same age group as herself. It soon became apparent, however, that their daughter felt uncomfortable hearing about some of the issues her foster sister had faced. It then dawned on me that a lot of children of foster carers must be experiencing the same thing.</p> <p>Following conversations with the daughter I created a&nbsp;group where sons and daughters of foster carers could share their experiences with each other and also with adults.&nbsp;On the second meeting of the group the children were asked what it should be called. We eventually agreed on Kids for Kids i.e. Sons and daughters of foster carers, supporting children in care. It quickly got abbreviated to K4K.&nbsp;</p> <p>These children are amazing because they share their parents, their house and their belongings with the children they foster and their role is so important in ensuring the success of a fostering placement.&nbsp;Their voice is important to us and the group enables them to tell us what they enjoy about fostering and what they find challenging.&nbsp;</p> <p>The group is aimed at those aged between 6 and&nbsp;16 but attended mainly by 10 to 14-year-olds. We usually get around 20 children but for big trips and the Christmas lunch we get more than 30. Some older teenagers also help run sessions.</p> <h3>Making friends and having fun</h3> <p>It has many benefits for the kids. It&nbsp;allows them&nbsp;to share experiences with others in a similar situation and helps them realise they are not alone in facing challenges. They tell me it is important to meet other children who understand them and they really welcome the opportunity to make new friends.</p> <p>We ask the children what they want to do, so that we can keep the activities relevent and engagiong and we&nbsp;have had some tremendous days out as a result. We’ve visited museums, nature reserves and attractions including a life-size replica village teaching about road, rail and water safety. We’ve also raised money for The Fostering Network at Foster Walk which was great fun and the children have also helped us compile consultations and been part of staff interviews.</p> <p>To celebrate the 10th anniversary we wrote to Blue Peter about the group’s big day and we received a cloth Blue Peter badge which is now framed in the office. We also had a tree planting ceremony and we buried a time capsule containing items the children created such as a film about living in a foster family; a poem about fostering and a CD of music they composed.</p> <p>We are extremely proud to be one of the first places in the country to set up a group specifically for the sons and daughters of foster carers and we are delighted it has lasted so long.</p> <p>I believe that every authority should have a group for the sons and daughters of foster carer, because their voice is very important.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/974" hreflang="en">sons and daughters</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/249" hreflang="en">community</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10360&amp;2=favourite_content" token="7DHBg5IFE1NStjfNbDPwbfIryLZpcRU3co1HIyLV5U0"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10360&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="7BtDC97U04Qk662mURiARD9UHiZNknulf7_V_uKGBnc"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Thu, 21 Jul 2016 16:03:51 +0000 DavidEggboro 10360 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/davideggboro/marking-decade-togetherness#comments Safer Caring https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/safer-caring <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Safer Caring</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Lucy Stevens</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Mon, 02/22/2016 - 13:20</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">Safer caring is the means by which foster carers can ensure the safety and well-being of children and young people. Because the business of foster caring happens in the home of the carer, safer caring also aims to protect the well being of carers and their families. It covers a broad range of themes, such as forming healthy attachments, dealing with difficult behaviour appropriately, ensuring the protection of each member of the household and minimising the risk of allegations made against carers.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>‘But what does that mean in practise?’ Jim and I ask our assessor, Stef.</p> <p>The Safer Caring guidance is provided by The Fostering Network but each agency will have their own plan template. The plan we’re being asked to think about and complete is divided into 18 subject headings. Under each heading you state what you will do to minimise the risk of harm for the child, yourselves as carers and your family.</p> <h4>A rose by any other name?</h4> <p>‘For instance,’ says Stef. ‘Under the section “Names” you will want to be clear about all the names you use for each other. Do any of you have nicknames, for example? This helps a child to make sense of who everyone is and who you’re referring to. Also, you need to ensure that you’re using the right name for the child who comes into your family.’</p> <p>This may sound like a bizarrely obvious thing to say but you’d be surprised. In the case of asylum seeking children, quite often names are misspelt, mispronounced or misinterpreted. In my work at Eastern Fostering Services (EFS), I’ve seen the same child be referred to using three differently spelt names. Sometimes also the child is known by their middle name and not their first name. The obvious is not always obvious.</p> <p>Benedict (usually known as Ben) chooses this moment to rush into the room and make an announcement.</p> <p>‘Mu-um Theo just called me a Dumbass!’</p> <p>I kid you not. I sometimes wonder whether this isn’t just some big conspiracy the kids have cooked up, a bit like the time a few years ago when I’d told them both off for something. Half an hour later I’d found them working beautifully together on a new “project”. This collaboration turned out to involve a surprising amount of tripwire and one common enemy: me.</p> <p>‘Dumbass probably won’t be one of the recognised names on our safer carer policy.’ I add, settling Benedict/Ben&nbsp;back to his homework.</p> <p>Back to the safer caring plan.</p> <h4>Time for a cover up</h4> <p>‘You’ll also need to think about bedrooms. What are the rules about entering other people’s bedrooms? What about using the bathroom? Is the door going to be closed? Do you emerge fully dressed etc. You’ll need to think about masturbation…’</p> <p>I see Jim visibly relax when he realises Stef is referring to the masturbatory habits of the young person and not him. Although Stef makes the point that our privacy and intimacy needs to be taken into consideration in the plan. Who said romance is dead?</p> <p>We discuss the importance of showing affection to children but that this affection must be consensual and appropriate. We talk about leaving some doors open and making sure other doors are closed. We talk about the importance of cultivating an open and honest environment.</p> <p>It is at this point that the second half of “Plan: Undermine The Parents” is implemented, this time by Theo. He enters the room in his pyjamas, sits himself down on the sofa and nods regally at us. For a moment, I am so struck by his majestic poise that I fail to notice the pair of pants on his head.</p> <p>Little does he know that I could actually hug him right now for not coming in stark naked. I am not going to tell him this though. That would be suicide. Instead Theodore/Theo/Captain Underpants is dispatched with a book and the conversation continues.</p> <p>My view is that the plan is common sense. It makes sense that you can limit the possibility of an allegation being made against you by a child if you can ensure that interaction happens out in the open rather than behind closed doors. It makes sense that you would be intentional about who is allowed in whose bedroom. It also makes sense that you would be intentional about noticing, hearing and understanding the child or young person and the things that occupy them. Being able to have conversations about sex, sexuality, drugs, self harm, bullying, relationships, faith, privacy, family is important because it potentially affords the carer the ability to safeguard more effectively. Equally, setting clear family rules and practical boundaries helps everybody understand what is expected and with that comes confidence for every member of the household.</p> <p>And none of this is lost on Jim/Jimbo/James I discover later that evening as he summarises things with the sort of smugness that surrounds someone who has grasped something both complex and critical.</p> <p>‘So basically, I need to get a dressing gown?’</p> <p>And I need to have a word with two small fiends who shall remain nameless…</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1679" hreflang="en">becoming a foster carer</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1678" hreflang="en">advice</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/249" hreflang="en">community</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1917" hreflang="en">Lucy Stevens</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10124&amp;2=favourite_content" token="7apANvpovE6AEs0TU_er99UwBEDDlwvwQLG8gXgfwwM"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10124&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="IBKFq3pabHJwuIEI1GGnYvv0iXTnCxeaW4meUPy1msY"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Mon, 22 Feb 2016 13:20:51 +0000 Lucy Stevens 10124 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/safer-caring#comments It’s all child’s play https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/its-all-childs-play <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>It’s all child’s play</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Lucy Stevens</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Wed, 02/03/2016 - 14:27</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">I get back from Calais absurdly happy to see my family and determined to see this fostering thing through to its conclusion, to its beginning.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>It’s just as well because we are straight back into things. It starts with the small matter of a trip to the doctor for our medical assessments. Eastern Fostering Service (the fostering agency) provided us with the forms which we filled in and dropped to the surgery. An appointment was given and hey presto, I find myself slightly sleep deprived, weeing into a pot and answering the usual bland health questions. The long and short of it is that I am fit and healthy and so, it turns out, is my husband Jim. It’s all very routine. Right up to the point, that is, where the doctor seems to make some clandestine analysis as to the completeness of my mental faculties. Evidently he finds my faculties lacking.</p> <p>‘Your children are still quite young. Deep breath. It’s a great thing to do of course. Breathe out. Very challenging though. Another one. And your children are young still aren’t they?’</p> <p>I’m pretty certain what he means is: ‘Your kids haven’t even hit puberty; you think you’ve got this parenting thing sufficiently licked to take on another child. You’re deluded. You know nothing. You’re in for a shock.’</p> <p>I wonder momentarily if he’d be saying the same thing if I was pregnant with a third child, though I recognise this is not a particularly helpful path to go down at present.</p> <p>The fact is that I’ve detected this undertone in a few of the responses to the news that we’re hoping to foster. People I’ve known for a long time have surprised me. Some have asked me, in that same constipated voice, ‘oh and what do your boys think?’ As if I’ve somehow bulldozed them with fostering, as if I am doing something cruel. As if fostering were a chastisement and not an opportunity for growth.</p> <p>So I am relieved when our assessor arrives a day later and announces that this week she’ll be talking to the children. Without us.</p> <h4><strong>The kids are alright</strong></h4> <p>The children spend a nice long time with the assessor and during that time (we later find out) the boys demonstrate an impressive grasp of what fostering involves, a philosophical approach as to what we can all expect, ‘there’s a lot we won’t know until we do it’ and a clear affection for their bulldozing parents. It also transpires that Ben and Theo love and irritate each other as much as they do Jim and I. All normal then.</p> <p><img alt="" src="/sites/default/files/uploads/emoticons_blog_8_fn.png" style="height:366px; width:559px" /></p> <p>None of this means that we have the parent thing licked. Of course we don’t. We get things wrong. We lose our tempers. We look back and think we could have done that better<em>. </em>In short, we’re human.</p> <p>That said, we have involved our children in every step of the process. We have given them the freedom and the space to raise their concerns. We have explained why we’d like to do this and we have been clear that at any point we will stop if the boys are unhappy. We are both aware that children like to please their parents and my boys are no different. They could just be trying to keep us happy. After all, they know how much this means. But that’s a hard game to play for long and we’ll be watching them closely. And so will our assessor. For the moment she is happy.</p> <p>Jim and I are next.</p> <h4><strong>Mr and Mrs</strong></h4> <p>This week we’re looking at our relationship. Our history. Our marriage. What we think of each other. What works. What we need to work at.</p> <p>Jim looks terrified. His look says:&nbsp;'Is this marriage counselling?'<em> </em>He eyes the front door with something like longing.</p> <p>I guess this<strong> </strong>is a little like marriage counselling. Once the assessor has spoken to us separately, we all get together and she shares what we’ve both said. As a couple, how often do you sit back and consider the things you like about each other, the tough times you’ve got through, the reasons you work together? How often do you reflect at all? The answer is of course that you don’t. You just get on with things. But today as we laugh about the things we’ve said about the other, there is reflection. There is an acknowledgment that whilst as humans we are imperfect, our marriage is imperfect, we are a good team. And what’s more we like each other, as long as Jim isn’t hanging out the washing and as long as I’m not offering my advice on how said washing could be hung out in a way more conducive to drying. The assessor thinks it’s funny that we have both mentioned the washing as being a source of acute irritation. She thinks it’s funny that Jim cried at Shrek. That he regularly leaves Christmas presents on trains. She even laughs that my tendency towards control freakery is clearly laughed off and undermined at every turn by the three boys of the house. She is determined that all of this will go into our assessment form. The form F.</p> <p>I start to wonder what that F really stands for.&nbsp;</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/793" hreflang="en">recruitment</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1679" hreflang="en">becoming a foster carer</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1678" hreflang="en">advice</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/249" hreflang="en">community</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1917" hreflang="en">Lucy Stevens</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10097&amp;2=favourite_content" token="jZEpg8BPz_QMVA--lwz7agnWyXteWz-zK3inb6sYljs"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=10097&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="lqpAKHT7kSZbIz13LlSHgpGGLMyHGugMfztX55-03js"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Wed, 03 Feb 2016 14:27:02 +0000 Lucy Stevens 10097 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/its-all-childs-play#comments The mighty jungle https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/mighty-jungle <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>The mighty jungle</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Lucy Stevens</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Wed, 01/20/2016 - 17:23</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">This instalment of the blog should really come with a disclaimer. Somewhere here in bold text should be words to this effect: *The actions of this blogger in no way constitute a statutory requirement for the fostering of asylum seeking children* Check. The objective of this blog is to give a detailed account of the fostering application process and I promise that this is what I’ll do, but I’m taking a little detour this week, a voluntary detour, via Calais…</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><h4>​An early start</h4> <p>It’s one o’clock in the morning when a group of us, including Eastern Fostering Services (EFS) agency director Eleanor Vanner, head off for three days’ volunteering at the camp known as The Jungle in Calais. As we make the drive down to Kent where the ferry awaits, I’m thinking about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it and what I can possibly achieve.</p> <p>If you’ve read any of my previous blogs, you’ll know that my family and I want to foster unaccompanied, asylum seeking children. You’ll also know that the agency I work for, EFS, already looks after children who have come into the country without their parents. I have met and worked with these children. I have an intellectual understanding of the journeys they’ve taken and the conditions they’ve lived in. I could recount their stories verbatim. And yet, for me personally, this falls short of enough. My motivations in going to the camp are complex and yet inseparable, like threads of a blanket. Teased apart they mean very little, weaved together they have purpose.</p> <p>Here then are the threads I am clutching on our journey to Calais: my faith, my job, my children, the world that is changing around us, my desire to DO something, childhood memories of arriving in Calais fresh off the ferry, our holiday stretching before us, a gnawing fear of the Calais I’m about to arrive in, the plight of the child who could walk through our front door one day soon, the sensation of squeezing my feet into the dusty, dog eared shoes of another and that one coarse golden thread that speaks of human understanding.</p> <p>I stash them away as we arrive for the morning briefing.</p> <h4><strong>Bearers of bad news</strong></h4> <p>Our first job is to get to the jungle and break the news that the French authorities want to clear a large area of the camp. The last time such an area was cleared, the authorities used force and many residents of the camp lost the few belongings they had to the jaws of a bulldozer. We head to the Afghani area of the camp. It is there that I meet four young boys who call me into their shelter. They are grinning and chattering excitedly as they show me their home. It’s like a delicious bubble amidst the filth of the camp. For a moment, I think that I’ve stumbled onto a scout camp, a place where stories are shared and illicit snacks are eaten and the giggles of boys can be heard long into the night. And then I wonder where their mothers are. And reality bites. The boys don’t believe me that they may lose their home. They look at me with cheeky grins and dancing eyes. Silently, I pray for them and ask they be spared from a violent eviction. I want to take them all home. Home, that place which is so near and yet so far removed from this hell. Home, where it’s clean and dry and safe.</p> <p>The people we meet that day shock me. I am expecting a cold shoulder at best; violent, red hot rage at worst. What I get is this: invitations to tea, smiles and nods, handshakes and thank yous. A sorry here and there. A pat on the back. A peal of laughter. What I get is a warm welcome that shames me.</p> <p>The following day, we start to clear areas of land that could be used to rehouse residents before the clearing by authorities begins. This feels like it could be something valuable. The land is badly contaminated with human excrement and pools of stagnant liquid. I weep and gag in equal measure. I rage that humans are expected to pitch a tent somewhere I can barely breathe. One of the lads helping us has some music and it booms from somewhere deep in his coat. It lifts us and it also attracts a group of teens. They are from Syria. They point out to me where they sleep in the camp. They smile and joke but their eyes have seen things no child should have seen. They come and help. But they have no gloves and I don’t want them handling this filth. They don’t listen though and whoop with the effort of pulling an abandoned tent from the thick mud. Once they’ve finished, I give them my hand gel and they look at me, bemused. Crazy, English lady. Of course. They’ve handled far worse.</p> <p>Then along comes a young lad. I smile at him and he asks me what I’m doing. He’s 14 and from Syria. His parents are over there still, maybe alive, maybe not. His skin is a sickly yellow. He looks weak with illness. His eyes are utterly beautiful: green, framed with thick lashes. And incredibly, his smile reaches them still. He stands there like a ghost, watching. When it’s time to go, I walk up to him and my arms open slightly. His do too. I’m not sure who draws who, but we hug. He grips me tightly. Someone tells me later that he has his eyes closed. It’s in that hug that the threads come together. That’s when I know this is right. If we can help one child escape this, that’s everything. And I wish it were this green eyed boy who clings on so powerfully. This boy I will never forget. This boy I will pray for every day. But it most likely will be another or another or another. There are so many of them. So many.</p> <h4><strong>Home</strong></h4> <p>We finish clearing land in time to see some of the guys we had met the previous day arrive with their shelters and tents. We know that something good has happened. They cheer as they arrive in this “safe zone”. This new home. Well, for now at least. As I write this, I’m in the office and I’m still weaving it all together, still processing it all. I’ve spent three measly days there. Trying to get back to normal life is hard. I see things through changed eyes. I think of the stories of the kids we work with and I know them now in a way I didn’t before. I can smell the places they’ve been. I can see what my home must look like: strange and comfortable – but uncomfortably so. I can share in their sighs of relief to be out of that place. I can picture the dreams that claw their way in in the dead of night. I barely know the half of it. But there are questions I won’t need to ask now. Some things I won’t have to wonder about. Maybe a child will sense that. Maybe they’ll feel at home. Maybe they’ll feel loved. Maybe they’ll close their eyes, even for a moment, while we hold them in this blanket we’ve woven.</p> <p><strong>The Winter 2016 edition of The Fostering Network&nbsp;members' quarterly magazine, Foster Care, explores the refugee crisis in Europe, how it impacts foster care and tips for people caring for unaccompanied asylum seeking children.</strong></p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/249" hreflang="en">community</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1678" hreflang="en">advice</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1917" hreflang="en">Lucy Stevens</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8855&amp;2=favourite_content" token="kNbh9uMfWZnudX8UOiba_NerBWSbH_biPS0mXqlnR4Q"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8855&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="8yd9T_oMda_QODH3rTXJubMAzy2HaaudrAeiUeOwQY0"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Wed, 20 Jan 2016 17:23:59 +0000 Lucy Stevens 8855 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/mighty-jungle#comments The wonder years https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/wonder-years <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>The wonder years</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Lucy Stevens</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 01/05/2016 - 11:33</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">The assessment is underway and we’re starting from the beginning, or as the form F calls it, the Early Years. Our assessor has sent us a list of questions as homework in preparation for her next visit this weekend.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>As I’ve mentioned in earlier blogs&nbsp;I work for Eastern Fostering Services but I am also a ghost-writer. Specifically, I write people’s autobiographies for them. I ask my clients all manner of questions about their childhood, their parents, their experiences; their journey. I am rarely more comfortable than when I’m listening to people talking about themselves, and generally I don’t enjoy talking about myself to the same degree.</p> <p>So for me this is a little weird.</p> <p>The worm and the tables have both performed their rather clichéd manoeuvres. The shoe is well and truly on the other foot. And guess what,&nbsp;it seems to fit. I discover that I quite enjoy dissecting my childhood. I find that it’s sobering to see myself, however fleetingly, as a product of my parents. In examining your childhood, you examine how you were parented. In examining how you were parented, the hard-earned successes and the inevitable struggles are brought into relief. This, in turn, allows you to quietly muse on your own successes and to shine a light on the things that you struggle with.</p> <p>I’m neither a believer in nor a fan of detoxes but this feels like a detox for the soul and one that might actually be constructive. I have a sudden picture of myself, breathless at the side of a winding road, hands on hips, looking back at the terrain I’ve covered before turning towards my destination as it unfolds, little by little, before me.</p> <p>And it’s while contemplating this figurative journey that I am reminded of another journey. Not my own. But one that is a small part of my narrative nonetheless…</p> <h4>Out of Africa</h4> <p>I’ve developed a particular interest in journeys over the last couple of years. From life’s ever changing journey, in general, to more poignant journeys in the personal realm. I have watched as the media has spewed out images of journeys, most borne of desperation, all shocking in their nakedness. I have met and worked with children who have undergone journeys that would make your hair stand on end. I’m easily able to see how any one of us could, in the blink of an eye, find ourselves on a desperate journey. In fact it’s because of a journey my Nan made almost 70 years ago that I have been able to empathise with men, women and children journeying to flee war, poverty or persecution. It’s partly because of her journey that I have been so moved by their journeys.</p> <p>When my mum was three years old, my Nan took her and her brother and left their home in Zimbabwe. My Nan was married to my mum’s father who was a game warden. It’s not my story to tell so I won’t go into details, but suffice to say things in Zimbabwe were bad enough to convince a young mother to travel thousands of miles, under a cloak of secrecy, back to the UK. Fortunately for Nan, she had parents who loved her and who agreed to take her and the children in. She must have been incredibly brave, bearing as she did not just a demanding journey from Africa to Northumberland with two children in tow, but equally the judgemental stares and concealed whispers of those who frowned upon such a refugee: two kids and not a husband in sight.</p> <p>Well, times have changed and my Nan’s story is different to many of those who are staking their all on desperate journeys in today’s world. But one thing is clear; a journey is proved worthwhile in its end destination. For my Nan it was the open arms of the parental home. For many unaccompanied asylum seeking children it’s a foster family. I hope one day that we, as a family, can prove the worth of a journey conceived in desperation, in secrecy, out of hope for something better.</p> <h4>Back to basics</h4> <p>But first we have to go through the assessment and the small matter of getting Jim to answer questions about his early life. If I’m sold on detox for the soul, Jim is emphatically keen on constipation. Encouraging him to give answers that exceed one syllable is going to be interesting. Like me, Jim had a happy childhood but he is uncomplicated in his approach to it: ‘I always knew I was loved and I’ve never had to think about my childhood in any greater depth.’</p> <p>I suddenly feel very grateful to my Nan and very sorry for our assessor.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/793" hreflang="en">recruitment</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1679" hreflang="en">becoming a foster carer</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1678" hreflang="en">advice</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/249" hreflang="en">community</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1917" hreflang="en">Lucy Stevens</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8830&amp;2=favourite_content" token="3engjhHDP10fyq3y2N_pkB1vwk8i8DRsHGll4T1FbLg"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8830&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="sDiTxkx_DccBf-GLSDv8RFBbX7SLt9Xy5sCZxbbxfaA"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Tue, 05 Jan 2016 11:33:27 +0000 Lucy Stevens 8830 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/wonder-years#comments Skills to foster https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/skills-foster <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Skills to foster</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Lucy Stevens</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Fri, 11/27/2015 - 12:53</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">My husband Jim and I first met each other at work. He always struck me as a great person to be around: intelligent, insightful and fair but with a wicked sense of humour. As we headed off together last week to attend the Skills to Foster training, I was taken straight back to the days when we used to work together every day. I was thinking how nice it was to be going to the same place at the same time for once. I was thinking that spending two days during the working week together was a rare boon. I was excited that, as a couple; we would be learning more about something we care deeply about and our responses to it.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>I asked Jim how he was feeling.</p> <p>“I’m looking forward to it,” he said.</p> <p>“I don’t really know what to expect but I’m looking forward to finding out.”</p> <p>Then he cleared his throat, “as long as there isn’t any role play of course…”</p> <p>Produced by The Fostering Network, The Skills to Foster training is an obligatory part of the assessment process with our agency and is used by virtually all fostering services in the UK. It helps to prepare prospective foster carers for some of the challenges they may face and aims to equip them with some of the skills to overcome these challenges.</p> <p>We were a small but well matched group of three couples and over the two days we covered a variety of subject areas: the importance for children of identity, how to provide a secure base for children, positive approaches to challenging behaviour, the importance of the birth family, the effect of multiple moves on a child’s psyche, and approaches to safer caring, to name but a few. The group was respectful, open and warm and while many of the subjects we covered were pretty upsetting, there was plenty of opportunity to laugh too.</p> <h4><strong>The role of a lifetime </strong></h4> <p>The course used a variety of materials and exercises, from videos to informal discussions to, yes; you guessed it, role play. If you were to cross the facial expression of a startled rabbit caught in the headlights of a ten-tonne truck with that of someone who thinks they are at the summit of a mountain only to discover they are just half way up – that’s pretty much how Jim was looking at me when the trainers landed that little bomb shell.</p> <p>But as with everything, (apart from the Cyndi Lauper CD on the car journey there) Jim put his feelings aside, and through the role playing exercises, demonstrated his strong sense of fairness and his non-judgmental approach to other people (well, those who aren’t Cyndi Lauper anyway….). It was interesting to see that each person and each couple brought many different things to the table. Looking at how different Jim and I are, for example, it’s clear we’re both going to bring different things to fostering. Despite our differences, or maybe because of them, Jim and I work pretty well together. I don’t say this smugly; I say this with full recognition that fostering tests every relationship and ours will be no exception. Foster care is complex and emotionally demanding. It involves supporting, and liaising with, a large number of people involved in that child’s life; this can mean some interesting dynamics. We happen to be a couple but I know many carers who foster on their own. Whether you’re a single carer or a couple, old or young, male or female, you need to feel equipped and supported. As foster carers, we’re going to need to use the skills we’ve got and we’re going to have to acquire a whole set of new ones.</p> <h4><strong>A takeaway pint?</strong></h4> <p>On the way home we talked about what we had taken from the training. We felt that the course had a good balance of realism (fostering is hard!) and encouragement (it’s worth doing!). We agreed that it was something that was going to challenge us and we agreed that we would need to invest plenty into our family to ensure our collective wellbeing. Our overriding feeling though was that this is something we still really want to do.</p> <p>“Oh and I could definitely see myself going for a drink with those guys, you know, for moral support?” Jim added, referring to the other men in the group.</p> <p>Actually, I’m with him there. Establishing a good support system is going to be critical for both of us. In my experience, female carers are generally very good at seeking out and finding that support, but, and this is only my experience, male carers can find it harder to do so. At EFS (the fostering agency I work for), we’ve been talking a lot about how to support our male carers in a way that they actually want and need. If Jim is advocating moral support over a pint in the pub, that sounds like as good a place to start as any. Imagine a cat that has got the cream and a child who has inadvertently stumbled on Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Put the two together. That’s how Jim is looking now.</p> <p><strong>The Fostering Network in Wales has produced two reports for men in foster care: <a href="https://www.fostering.net/all-about-fostering/foster-carers/men-who-foster#.VlhZ-3bhDcs">https://www.fostering.net/all-about-fostering/foster-carers/men-who-foster#.VlhZ-3bhDcs</a></strong></p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1678" hreflang="en">advice</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/249" hreflang="en">community</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1679" hreflang="en">becoming a foster carer</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1682" hreflang="en">skills to foster</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1917" hreflang="en">Lucy Stevens</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8788&amp;2=favourite_content" token="Gv3Va199bTIbN1RY9_K-yfVEOGEuWBDWnuPluMbHpYo"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=8788&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="UBxn8kKUfiQny5qTQycFPgGHr69pDTeNckENLvYa6g8"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Fri, 27 Nov 2015 12:53:34 +0000 Lucy Stevens 8788 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/lucy-stevens/skills-foster#comments