being a foster carer https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/ en How having a disability has made me a better foster carer https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blog/disabilityandfostercare <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>How having a disability has made me a better foster carer</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">louiseventon</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Thu, 11/17/2022 - 14:52</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item"><p><strong>Darren from Canterbury, Kent, has been fostering with his husband for 10 years now. Darren shares how being a disabled foster carer, living with the condition multiple sclerosis, has enriched his fostering experience. </strong></p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>Me and my husband started fostering in 2012, and the following year I was diagnosed<br /> with multiple sclerosis (MS). I often wonder what we would <img alt="Darren foster carer blog" data-entity-type="file" data-entity-uuid="0e7753ca-5cef-4929-a325-00f6dd554f38" src="/sites/default/files/inline-images/Darren%20foster%20carer.png" class="align-right" />have done if that had happened the other way around. Truthfully, I know we would have thought that my MS would rule out that option. What a shame that would have been. In the 10 years since, we have helped scores of looked after children, directly in our own home and many more indirectly through our work supporting families through the Mockingbird Family model.</p> <p>I had an unusual diagnosis – often MS can take years to pinpoint. I had suffered a blow to head during an incident with our young boy. I had a brain scan as a precaution and the MS showed up. Within a week I was fully diagnosed.</p> <p>It is the only time in my life that I have ever felt true devastation, and I'll admit that I did take a week to myself to let it sink in. My then social worker, Sarah, was one of the biggest sources of support. Maybe as we had only known each other for a year, it felt easier to talk to someone who knew me but who I didn't need to feel guilty when speaking to. </p> <p>Having an uncertain future brings a potential burden to those around you. The effect of this long term was a bond like no other with my social worker – never fearful to share what was going on for me, my family or my foster child. I have never felt so supported in my life and it was made clear that my diagnosis was not a barrier at all to my fostering journey.</p> <p>I made a decision fairly quickly, that if my window to make a difference was shorter, then I would give it all I've got, whilst I could. I am proud to say that the young boy involved in the incident leading to my diagnosis stayed still with us until adulthood, nine years in total. My commitment and love for him have never faltered, although my belief in my ability has. And that’s why I want to share this experience.</p> <p>As the years have gone on, sometimes I am less capable of doing things; I can sadly no longer run around the park, but I’m happy to race anyone on my mobility scooter. Sometimes we are out from dusk til dawn, other days, I need a break in the middle. I am sure that at times, my boys feel a sense of frustration or disappointment when plans have to be altered. </p> <p>However they take this in their stride knowing that my husband is there, and that sometimes the best things come from altering those plans. I feel amazed at the life skills they are developing and actually, a sense of pride that I have enabled in them, a deeper sense of caring, empathy and an ability to overcome a setback. On those days when we aren't chasing a ball together, maybe I will sit and watch, observing them and really taking in who they are becoming. Before I was enforced to sit out occasionally, and I don’t think I ever took time to notice just how incredible they are, to really appreciate the strengths that they've developed.</p> <p>Other days we play games, sit and read books or watch films. Often before, I was inclined to put a film on to give me an hour to 'catch up'. Now, rather than catching up on cleaning toilets and wiping the kitchen sides, I catch up with my family.</p> <p>And they are my family – I don’t care what anyone says, we have a bond like no other. They know and accept me, with all my faults and I return the same to them. We are supportive, empathic, and loving. We each have our own challenges – sometimes I’m slow walking up the stairs and sometimes they get in trouble at school, but having an understanding that none of us are perfect, but we can all try our best to make a positive impact on the world is how our family works.</p> <p>Honestly, I'm not sure that the best parts of our family would ever truly have surfaced without my diagnosis, and that's why I truly believe that having MS has made me a better carer.</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1592" hreflang="en">being a foster carer</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12563&amp;2=favourite_content" token="kM09W1QZrD_EMQ81drr_rOtNLSXL3aSMe6i6pdZ_zRY"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=12563&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="m7fHadOfdVCxyo4oUW-Lss2XMdqIPpAe6WaeTEc4QHU"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Thu, 17 Nov 2022 14:52:42 +0000 louiseventon 12563 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blog/disabilityandfostercare#comments Time for Reflection https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/time-reflection <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--blog.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Time for Reflection</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--blog.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> <span lang="" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">Cathy Glass</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/user/templates/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--blog.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Fri, 01/02/2015 - 13:48</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/node/templates/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/tfnetwork/templates/system/links.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-introduction--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-introduction.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-introduction.html.twig * field--text-long.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-introduction field--type-text-long field--label-hidden field--item">The end of one year and the start of the next is often a time for reflection. A little like a review when we can ask ourselves what has gone well for us, what hasn’t gone so well, what we have achieved, what we could have done differently, and what we hope to achieve in the coming year.</div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--blog.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--body.html.twig * field--text-with-summary.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field--item"><p>The end of 2014 coincided for me with an interview about fostering. It was a good interview because it made me think and reflect. I’d like to share some of it here. The last question was the most thought-provoking and I am sure you can think of other examples.</p> <p><strong>What do you find to be the most challenging and rewarding aspects of being a foster carer?</strong></p> <p>Probably the most challenging aspect of fostering is listening to a child disclose abuse. It is heartbreaking. Also, having to say goodbye at the end of a placement is difficult. The foster family bonds with the child and goodbyes are never easy. The most rewarding aspect of fostering is seeing a child improve – to learn to trust and smile again. That’s wonderful.</p> <p><strong>Is your work a learned profession or is it rather a vocation?</strong></p> <p>A bit of both really. You have to want to work with children to be a foster carer, but foster carers also receive ongoing training and have to meet certain standards. Like many professionals, foster carers learn from doing ‘the job’, so that the more experienced you are the better you are at looking after the children you foster.</p> <p><strong>What do you enjoy most about foster parenting?</strong></p> <p>To be honest I enjoy all aspects of fostering, even the meetings. But to see a child improve, gain confidence and learn to trust is absolutely wonderful and makes all the hard work completely worthwhile.</p> <p><strong>If you hadn’t gone into fostering, what else might you have done? (or how would your life have been different?)</strong></p> <p>This is a difficult one because my life revolves around fostering and all it entails. Fostering is all-encompassing and life-changing. It would certainly have been a different life without fostering, and I suspect a far less rewarding one.</p> <p><strong>What do you need to be a foster carer?</strong></p> <ul> <li>A desire&nbsp;to work with children&nbsp;and young people.</li> <li>Room in your home.</li> <li>Empathy for the child, and an understanding of the circumstances that has brought that child into care.</li> <li>Patience.</li> <li>A calm manner&nbsp;particularity in a crisis.</li> <li>Common sense.</li> <li>A good support network.</li> <li>Knowing when to voice an opinion and when to stay quiet.</li> <li>Making time for your own family.</li> <li>Trying not to be judgemental.</li> <li>Be a good listener.</li> <li>Have a&nbsp;smart outfit for meetings.</li> <li>Be well&nbsp;organised.</li> <li>Keep a sense of humour.</li> <li>Don't be afraid to say 'No', all children need boundaries.</li> <li>Play together and enjoy looking after the child, you will&nbsp;be part&nbsp;of their life history.</li> </ul> <p>All best wishes for 2015.</p> <p>Cathy x (<a href="http://www.cathyglass.co.uk/" title="Cathy Glass">www.cathyglass.co.uk</a>)</p> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-blog-tags--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-blog-tags.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div class="field field--name-field-blog-tags field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field--items"> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/677" hreflang="en">new year</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1591" hreflang="en">interviews</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/1592" hreflang="en">being a foster carer</a></div> <div class="field--item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/328" hreflang="en">Cathy Glass</a></div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bootstrap/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="flag.link_builder:build" arguments="0=node&amp;1=7947&amp;2=favourite_content" token="VXmBj7xTzROqyjNCjA0wb0e3PFNKA898g-jYBqauYj0"></drupal-render-placeholder> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-comment--blog.html.twig * field--node--field-comment.html.twig * field--node--blog.html.twig * field--field-comment.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section> <h2>Add new comment</h2> <drupal-render-placeholder callback="comment.lazy_builders:renderForm" arguments="0=node&amp;1=7947&amp;2=field_comment&amp;3=comment" token="frGgSBuPC5VTRC1uQPi2tRCSeig7VQxDOt8ef9O0Mc8"></drupal-render-placeholder> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/modules/comment/templates/field--comment.html.twig' --> Fri, 02 Jan 2015 13:48:29 +0000 Cathy Glass 7947 at https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk https://www.thefosteringnetwork.org.uk/blogs/cathy-glass/time-reflection#comments