Everyday Parenting with Security and Love
Kim S Golding, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2017, paperback, 256 pages, £16.99, ISBN 9781785921155
Sarah and Amara Tamblyn, foster carers
*** Essential information
The book is about the use of the proven model of therapeutic parenting known as PACE (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy), which is effective with children who have attachment issues.
The author refers to many theories, ideas and models developed by other researchers and clinicians in order to write the book. In addition, she has included several case studies of families from a range of backgrounds and attachment histories. Despite the fact that these are fictional, they are based on families she has worked with. We found that the case studies were very useful in explaining how PACE works with children from a range of backgrounds.
The idea behind PACE is that parents or carers will help their child to be playful as a method of developing security, accept their experiences without being judgemental, show curiosity with regards to discovering their child's personality, and show empathy towards them. Another element of PACE is for the parent to stay open and engaged with the child at all times - to strengthen the relationship between them. In our opinion, this method of parenting is ideal for foster carers who are looking after and parenting children with poor attachment patterns. It seeks to provide the foundations for a secure and stable attachment, whereas traditional parenting does not always focus on this.
The individual chapters are broken into sections which make for easier reading, although we did find that the points made within the chapters were often repeated several times, thus making the final "conclusion" sections unnecessary for the most part. Many of the chapters feature illustrations which we thought were helpful, offering a visual explanation of the processes required within PACE and why they are required.
We would recommend this book to foster carers. The parenting method of PACE would enable them to provide the children that come into their care with a stable environment which would help them to strengthen their attachment.